Meet The New Year, Same As The Old Year

In honor of Wal-Mart's adoption of AC/DC's Back In Black as their TV ad background music, I thought the lyrics needed an update. (BTW, I'm not insinuating that the original lyrics were much to begin with.)

Back in linens
I sure ain't winnin'
I'm much too fat to do any sinnin'
Yes I got a wide caboose
And a credit card noose
That keeps me hangin' like a flypaper fly
The wife forgot her purse now I'm gonna cry
I got 9 kids
Their undies got skids
And they're using all the TP & it's drivin' me wild

'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
(Well) I'm back in Wal-Mart
Yes, I'm back in Wal-Mart

Back in the back
Of a '72 Cadillac
I wanna put a bullet in some rich boy's Lexus ass
Yes, I'm in a fix
& I got ticks
They've given me lyme disease & my balls really itch
Cause I'm back on the track
And I got plumber's crack
Nobody's gonna get me on another shopliftin' rap
So look at me now
I'm just passin' gas
Can't push too hard or I'll be browning my ass

'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
(Well) I'm back in Wal-Mart
Yes, I'm back in Wal-Mart

Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
Well I'm back in Wal-Mart
Yes I'm back in Wal-Mart

Hooo yeah
Ohh yeah
Yes I am
Oooh yeah, yeah Oh yeah
Back in now
Well I'm back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back
Back in Wal-Mart
Yes I'm back in Wal-Mart

Outta sight