A Message To Both Candidates

MY ASS HURTS!

So stop shoving your dick in it.

I don't care about your ideologies.
I don't care about your political philosophies.
I don't care about your corrupt narcissism
   & your pandering photo ops
   & your inspiring success stories.

I don't care if both the Republican & Democratic parties immolate like the Hindenburg
& plummet from the skies.
I don't care about the legions of my fellow Americans who appear to be brain damaged enough
to think this plastic culture of overweight shoppers is, by any sane standard, great.

I don't care about Christmas
or Jesus
or baseball
or football
or fashion
or Mom
or apple pie
or fucking Chevrolet.

I just want my ass to stop hurting.

So go away.

Or buy some lube.

Or shoot yourselves in the head.

The choice is yours.

Personally, if I were you, I'd choose the last one.

But that's me.