Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Only 330 Shopping Days Till The Ahpuch Torch The Mall

16:4 And the third angel poured out his vial upon the rivers and fountains of waters; and they became blood.

A drone pilot hobbyist in Dallas stumbled across a river of blood coming from a large meatpacking plant. The small drone plane had a camera equipped, which captured images of the red river, suspected of being made of pig blood from the plant.

AH-PUCH is the Ruler of MITNAL or Level 9 of the Underworld: the deepest and nastiest department of Mayan Hell.

Identified by the Aztecs with MICTLANTECUHTLI, the grinning God of Death, AH-PUCH is also known as God A, the first of the ALPHABET-GODS.

AH-PUCH likes to surface at night and skulk around in really scary mode. A putrefying corpse with an owl's head is his favorite outfit. Wishing to look the part he uses the eyes of the dead to add the finishing touches to his headgear. One of his nicknames is 'The Flatulent One', which is not something we care to investigate further.

The Flatulent One

For some reason AH-PUCH often has bells tied to his hair, but he is not being cute. What he does when he homes in on a victim is worse than you need to imagine...

There is only one way to escape his attentions. Howl! Shriek! Moan! Scream! Give it your best shot. Sound utterly convincing. AH-PUCH will then assume you are already being dealt with by some of his lesser demons. He will stop outside your door to sigh "Ah..." and pass by with a grim smile.

But AH-PUCH, the Lord of Death and Patron God of the number 10, will get you in the end. He uses MUAN, the evil bird of bad tidings, as his messenger. To this day the legend persists that when an owl screeches, someone nearby will die. If you hear a hoot, take a deep breath and count to 10.

Beware!!! The Flatulent One Can Even Make His Own Eyes Water

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