McQueary told the jury that he was at home, in bed, watching the film "Rudy," when he decided to go to the football team building. He said he walked into the support staff locker room to put away a pair of new sneakers and, as he opened the door, he heard the noise.
"Very much skin-on-skin smacking sound," he said. "I immediately became alert and was kind of embarrassed that I was walking in on something."
He said that he turned and glanced over his right shoulder at a mirror that had a 45-degree angle and saw Sandusky "standing behind a boy who was propped up against a wall." He estimated the boy to be 10 to 12 years old.
He said that the "boy's hands (were) up on the wall. The glance would have taken only one or two seconds. I immediately turned back to my locker to make sure I saw what I saw."
Then he put his shoes in the locker and slammed it shut, hard.
"I made the loud noise in an attempt to say 'Someone's here! Break it up!"' McQueary said.
When asked what he saw, McQueary said "the defendant's midsection was moving" subtly.
He said he then went upstairs to his office.
"It was more than my brain could handle," he said. "I was making decisions on the fly. I picked up the phone and called my father to get advice from the person I trusted most in my life, because I just saw something ridiculous."
He saw something "ridiculous?"
I think it's time for another episode of "How Do You Define Ridiculous."
The Ministry Of Silly Walks is "ridiculous."
George W. Bush as President of the United States is "ridiculous."
Overweight Americans addicted to spectator sports would qualify as "ridiculous."
Any random Joe Biden comment is "ridiculous."
On the other hand, a 12 year old boy being anally raped isn't "ridiculous."
I'm beginning to think McQueary deserves a cell of his own for being so fucking stupid.