Friday, May 28, 2010

"Ugly & A Little Smelly On The Side"

In Michael A. Hoffman's Secret Societies and Psychological Warfare,
Hoffman postulates an eon spanning Masonic conspiracy that has three goals:

1. The Creation and Destruction of Primordial Matter. Hoffman says this took place in the 1940s when the first A-Bomb was detonated at the Trinity Site in White Sands, New Mexico.

2. The Sacrificial Killing of the Divine King. Hoffman inserts JFK into the role of Divine King, with his sacrifice taking place at another Trinity Site, Dealy Plaza being near the Trinity River.

3. The Bringing of Prima Materia to Prima Terra. Hoffman says this was accomplished when Moon rocks were brought back to Earth by Masonic astronauts.

Hoffman then goes on to postulate that the next step in this conspiracy tango is the creation of life. Then, Hoffman says, we'll no longer need God because we'll be Gods.

Which brings me to this:

Scientists in the US have succeeded in developing the first living cell to be controlled entirely by synthetic DNA.

The researchers constructed a bacterium's "genetic software" and transplanted it into a host cell.

The resulting microbe then looked and behaved like the species "dictated" by the synthetic DNA.

The advance, published in Science, has been hailed as a scientific landmark, but critics say there are dangers posed by synthetic organisms.

Some also suggest that the potential benefits of the technology have been over-stated.

But the researchers hope eventually to design bacterial cells that will produce medicines and fuels and even absorb greenhouse gases.

So, I guess we're Gods now, eh?
Gee, I wonder if God bombardiers stench emitting brown Fat Men & Little Boys into His toilet every morning too?

Hey, maybe that's us.
Mobile feces.
After all, the Bible does say that God made us out of "clay" right? & we all know how the Bible's authors preferred nice tame euphemisms, right? For example, "he wanted to know her" means he wanted to fuck her.
It would explain why we're such stinky fuckers.
It would also explain why we like to continually shit where we eat, wouldn't it?

Ain't technology grand?
You'll have to excuse me now, I feel an act of creation coming on.
I'll let you know if it swims to the top & tries to start a religion
or a Masonic lodge.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Look Yahweh, It's Time To Make Good On All Those Apocalyptic Threats...Time For A Good Flood Or Plague...So Shit Or Get Off The Pot Motherfucker

Yesterday morning I had a pleasant visit from the grass & tree limb police. (Really, they had badges & everything) They informed me that my neighbors have complained that the 5 pine trees at the edge of my property obscure their view of the road. While I have no problems, I understand how they could since none of these inbred halfwits appear to possess any driving skills.
So, in order to keep the Grass Police from ordering me to cut down my trees, I had to spend most of yesterday cutting off all the bottom branches that I could reach. I loved those damn trees the way they were.
By the conclusion of my endeavor I was suitably pissed off, and wanting to do nothing more than raise my middle finger in a nice neighborly salute, I took 2 huge sheets of poster board, wrote this on one;



and placed it right in front of my mutilated trees.

On the second one I put


& stuck it about 50 feet up the road from the trees.

This morning I awoke to find my mailbox post yanked out of the ground
and my mailbox smashed to bits.

In the immortal words of Yosemite Sam:

This means war!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Note To Self: Leave The Computer Alone.....

Alright already America, I know you people have been blinded, bullied & buggered.
I know you've been sold a prettily gift wrapped turd & trained to ooh & aah over it like it was a great big diamond.

But, enough is enough.

JUNEAU, Alaska – Bristol Palin is hitting the speakers' circuit and will command between $15,000 and $30,000 for each appearance, Palin family attorney Thomas Van Flein said Monday.

Van Flein confirmed a report by celebrity news website RadarOnline that the daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has signed with Single Source Speakers. He added her exact fees will depend on factors such as which group she's addressing and what she must to do prepare.

Bristol Palin, 19, is listed on the speaking group's website as available for conferences, fundraisers, special events and holidays, as well as women's, youth, abstinence and "pro-life" programs.

'kay...let me get this straight...she used to like cock, but now she doesn't?
& she's gonna charge $15,000 to $30,000 dollars to tell folk this?
& people will actually sit there & listen?
Does she have anything else to say? Or is she just a one trick ho-ny....ooops....I mean one trick pony act?
Let's see...

He said he believes she's interested in expanding her message beyond teen pregnancy to include her experiences on the campaign trail and in the media spotlight; her parenting approach; and her outlook on life.

Oh, okay. That's much better.
The 19 year old wants 30 grand to share her "outlook on life."
Well, that sounds interesting.
I always find a 19 year old's advice to be quite astute.

But, then again, these niggling doubts keep creeping in.

Won't her real message look more like "getting knocked up leads to fame & fortune?

Plus, this seems so opportunistic, doesn't it?
Kind of like her version of Bush's "through my tears I see opportunity" spiel...except in widdle Bristol's case it's more like "Through my open thighs I see opportunity."

My god, are you people insane?
Has 60 fucking years sitting in a right brain trance in front of a little screen scrambled your brains so much that this is what you've degenerated into?
Have y'all been fed so much dipshit make believe that you people now live entirely in a land of fantasy?


Then we get this nugget from sweaty Teddy;

So Teddy wanted a presidential candidate to suck on his machine gun eh?
Gee Ted is soooooooooooo fucking manly.
I bet he killed a bushel full of gooks during Nam.
Probably has all kinds of medals.

Let's see if we can find his army record.

Oh no. Ted was rejected. Or, more precisely, he was given a...WTF?...a student deferment?
But, but Ted was in the Amboy Dukes. Then he went solo. He wasn't in college.
I wonder if there are any other details.

(Nugent claims) that 30 days before his Draft Board Physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and a week before his physical, he stopped using the bathroom altogether, virtually living inside his pants caked with excrement and urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment.

Oh no.

Teddy went poopy in his pants.

To escape killing the nasty socialist commie types he says he wants to kill now.

It also means that Teddy Bear has the balls to shoot at this:

and this:

and this:

but he'd rather spend 10 days sitting in his own excrement than get within a million miles of these motherfuckers:

I get it now, for 40 years or so Teddy has been singing about poontang this & poontang that, & I always thought that this was just a thinly veiled euphemism for female genitalia.

My bad.

The songs were were all autobiographical ditties where Ted just sings about himself.


It's amazing how the most vociferous proponents of family values always have their wiener in an unsanctioned wiener hole

& the biggest homophobes always find themselves craving some nice hard wiener

& the biggest war mongers are, at heart, just big yellow bellied cowards.

Like Ted Nugent.

Take some advice Ted, stick to hunting deer. Obama might be packin' heat & I'd hate to see you shit your pants all over again.

Remember Teddy Bear, ain't no fun when the rabbit gots a gun.

Is it?

I also got my weekly TV fix at work Sunday morning. Someone settled on "Real Housewives of New Jersey."
Watching it made my frontal lobe throb.
Every woman looked like a pre-operative trans-sexual.
Skinny men with hormone inspired titties.
"Women" so tanned they looked like over-cooked hamburger meat, babbling on endlessly about absolutely nothing.
If the show's purpose is to demonstrate that semi wealthy social climbers are as utterly fucking boring and neurotic as I am, then I suppose it succeeds quite well.
If it's purpose is to show me a "lifestyle" that I should aspire too, then it's a dismal failure.

One "woman" kept explaining how she likes to wish everyone "light & love."
What the fuck does that mean?
What if I'm trying to sleep?
Then someone pulling at my pecker while the sun shines in my eyes would seriously piss me off.
What kind of "life & love" could this bitch be wishing for anyway?
As she sits in her posh restaurant in her designer labeled sweat shop made clothes clogging up the airwaves with her over-priced & vacuous twaddle?

Who watches this shit anyway?

Monday, May 17, 2010

A DickHead's Guide To Equality

1. A:

+ B:

= C:

2. A:

+ B:

+ C:

+ D:

+ E:

= X:

+ Y:

+ Z:


+ B:

= X:

+ Y:

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Finally, A Preacher I Could Follow Bishop says Hell was invented by the Church Video

Saturday, May 1, 2010

I Think I've Heard This Tune Before...Some Call It "The Neo-Liberal Sonata"

ATHENS, Greece – Hundreds of youths rioted in Athens on Saturday, throwing Molotov cocktails and stones at police who responded with tear gas at a May Day rally against austerity measures being enacted by the cash-strapped government to secure foreign loans to stave off bankruptcy. The center-left government is set to announce more sweeping spending cuts through 2012 to win support for an international loan package worth euro45 billion ($60 billion) this year alone. The Cabinet meets Sunday morning to finalize the measures, with Finance Minister George Papaconstantinou expected to announce them at noon and then immediately fly to Brussels for an emergency meeting of euro-zone finance ministers.

The International Monetary Fund has said it will provide the money over three years, along with Greece's partners in the euro zone. IMF and EU negotiators began talks in Athens on April 21 and continued through Friday.

French Finance Minister Christine Lagarde said Saturday after a meeting of French government officials that she was confident euro-zone finance ministers would approve the package by the end of the weekend. Governments are discussing a package of up to euro120 billion ($159 billion) over three years, she said.

In March, Athens announced belt-tightening measures aimed to save some euro4.8 billion this year through cuts in civil service pay, higher indirect taxes and a crackdown on widespread tax evasion. But these proved insufficient, and additional austerity measures will likely include further hikes in consumer taxes, and deeper cuts in pensions and public service pay. Unions are furious.

"These measures are death. How people are going to live tomorrow, how they're going to survive, I do not understand," said Nikos Diamantopoulos, who was participating in a rally organized by pro-Communist unions.

Greece spent freely for years and ran up debt equal to 115 percent of gross domestic product. It has been effectively shut out of bond markets to refinance its debt pile because investors fear default and are demanding high rates of interest the government says it cannot pay.

Signs that the help will soon be approved have calmed markets, which previously pushed Greece's cost of borrowing to untenably high levels high as EU and German officials showed little urgency in addressing the problem.

On Friday the interest rate gap, or spread, between Greek 10-year bonds and their benchmark German equivalent narrowed to 6.20 percentage points, from a staggering 10 points Wednesday.

But Athens was in for more bad news as credit agency Moody's Investor Services downgraded the debt rating of nine Greek banks: National Bank of Greece, EFG Eurobank Ergasias, Alpha Bank, Piraeus Bank, Emporiki Bank of Greece, Agricultural Bank of Greece, General Bank of Greece, Marfin Egnatia Bank and Attica Bank.

Moody's said the banks' might face further downgrades — a move that would come alongside Moody's ongoing review of the country's sovereign debt rating.

On Thursday, the agency confirmed that it is awaiting to see details of an EU-IMF rescue package before a possible revision of Greece's credit rating, but that a "multi-notch downgrade" remained likely.

This has become such a familiar scenario that it almost doesn't warrant notice.
Greece joins an ever increasing club of unfortunate saps forced to undergo an IMF financial enema. It has worked so well for Mexico that Mexicans die by the hundred thousands each year just to come here. Of course, that's the tiny bit that Americans see, all those illegal immigrants streaming across the border. What they don't see is the huge number of migrant workers inside Mexico, forced by globalization to float from shanty town to shanty town in search of whatever subsistence wage job they can find.

The Greeks have my sympathy. Whatever led them to this point is now utterly irrelevant to the globalists holding the purse strings. They'll lend Greece this exorbitant sum of money but I suspect it will help no one but the foreign banks who hold Greece's bad paper. Everyone else in the country will just have to learn how to eat shit and like it. Given the IMF's history, this is pretty much a given.

What interests me though, was this quote:

Greece spent freely for years and ran up debt equal to 115 percent of gross domestic product.

Hmmmm...sound the least bit familiar?

If my math is correct, the U.S. stands at about 90% on the "GDP/Debt" scale. With a debt that's increasing at roughly $4 billion a day, can we be far behind?
Does anyone in this dipshit cuntry seriously think the global community will give a flying fuck when po-dunk America runs off the same cliff?

To answer my own question...yeah I think they do?

I think we are in for the mother of all wake up calls.

It's About Time Something In That Damn Book Turned Out To Be True

From New Scientist:

WHEN we fall under the spell of a charismatic figure, areas of the brain responsible for scepticism and vigilance become less active. That's the finding of a study which looked at people's response to prayers spoken by someone purportedly possessing divine healing powers.

To identify the brain processes underlying the influence of charismatic individuals, Uffe Schjødt of Aarhus University in Denmark and colleagues turned to Pentecostal Christians, who believe that some people have divinely inspired powers of healing, wisdom and prophecy.

Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), Schjødt and his colleagues scanned the brains of 20 Pentecostalists and 20 non-believers while playing them recorded prayers. The volunteers were told that six of the prayers were read by a non-Christian, six by an ordinary Christian and six by a healer. In fact, all were read by ordinary Christians.

Only in the devout volunteers did the brain activity monitored by the researchers change in response to the prayers. Parts of the prefrontal and anterior cingulate cortices, which play key roles in vigilance and scepticism when judging the truth and importance of what people say, were deactivated when the subjects listened to a supposed healer. Activity diminished to a lesser extent when the speaker was supposedly a normal Christian (Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, DOI: 10.1093/scan/nsq023).

Schjødt says that this explains why certain individuals can gain influence over others, and concludes that their ability to do so depends heavily on preconceived notions of their authority and trustworthiness.

It's not clear whether the results extend beyond religious leaders, but Schjødt speculates that brain regions may be deactivated in a similar way in response to doctors, parents and politicians.

(I'm living proof of that last bit. Evidently my entire brain shuts down whenever I hear a Sarah Palin speech.)

Which segues nicely into this:

A group of Chinese and Turkish evangelical explorers said on Monday they believe they may have found Noah's Ark - 4000m up a mountain in Turkey.

The team say they recovered wooden specimens from a structure on Mount Ararat in eastern Turkey that carbon dating proved was 4800 years old, around the same time the ark is said to have been afloat.

"It's not 100 per cent that it is Noah's Ark but we think it is 99.9 per cent that this is it," said Yeung Wing-cheung, a Hong Kong documentary filmmaker and member of the 15-strong team from Noah's Ark Ministries International.

The structure had several compartments, some with wooden beams, which were believed to house animals, he said.

The group of evangelical archaeologists ruled out an established human settlement on the grounds that one had never been found above 3500m in the vicinity, Yeung said.

Local Turkish officials will ask the central government in Ankara to apply for UNESCO World Heritage status so the site can be protected while a major archaeological dig is conducted, Yeung added.

The biblical story says God decided to flood the earth after seeing how corrupt it had become, and told Noah to build an ark and fill it with two of every animal species.

After the flood waters receded, the Bible says, the ark came to rest on a mountain. Many believe that Mount Ararat, the highest point in the region, is where the ark and her inhabitants came aground.

Surprisingly, this looks a lot like another version of Noah's Ark found 15 miles away on a different Turkish mountain.

Maybe while God was planting dinosaur bones to confuse us & test our faith, he had multiple versions of the Ark built to...ummmmm...confuse us & test our faith.

While I have a feeling this will end badly, I'm ever hopeful that, this time, with the Ark's discovery, the elusive saddled dinosaur's existence will be proven, once & for all.