Yesterday morning I had a pleasant visit from the grass & tree limb police. (Really, they had badges & everything) They informed me that my neighbors have complained that the 5 pine trees at the edge of my property obscure their view of the road. While I have no problems, I understand how they could since none of these inbred halfwits appear to possess any driving skills.
So, in order to keep the Grass Police from ordering me to cut down my trees, I had to spend most of yesterday cutting off all the bottom branches that I could reach. I loved those damn trees the way they were.
By the conclusion of my endeavor I was suitably pissed off, and wanting to do nothing more than raise my middle finger in a nice neighborly salute, I took 2 huge sheets of poster board, wrote this on one;
TREE LIMB REMOVAL BROUGHT TO YOU BY
THE STATE STREET WHINERS CLUB
OUR MOTTO IS
and placed it right in front of my mutilated trees.
On the second one I put
CAN YOU SEE ME NOW
YOU CROSS-EYED INBRED???
& stuck it about 50 feet up the road from the trees.
This morning I awoke to find my mailbox post yanked out of the ground
and my mailbox smashed to bits.
In the immortal words of Yosemite Sam:
This means war!!!!!!