Friday, December 30, 2011

Meet The New Year, Same As The Old Year

In honor of Wal-Mart's adoption of AC/DC's Back In Black as their TV ad background music, I thought the lyrics needed an update. (BTW, I'm not insinuating that the original lyrics were much to begin with.)

Back in linens
I sure ain't winnin'
I'm much too fat to do any sinnin'
Yes I got a wide caboose
And a credit card noose
That keeps me hangin' like a flypaper fly
The wife forgot her purse now I'm gonna cry
I got 9 kids
Their undies got skids
And they're using all the TP & it's drivin' me wild

'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
(Well) I'm back in Wal-Mart
Yes, I'm back in Wal-Mart

Back in the back
Of a '72 Cadillac
I wanna put a bullet in some rich boy's Lexus ass
Yes, I'm in a fix
& I got ticks
They've given me lyme disease & my balls really itch
Cause I'm back on the track
And I got plumber's crack
Nobody's gonna get me on another shopliftin' rap
So look at me now
I'm just passin' gas
Can't push too hard or I'll be browning my ass

'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
(Well) I'm back in Wal-Mart
Yes, I'm back in Wal-Mart

Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, Yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
Well I'm back in Wal-Mart
Yes I'm back in Wal-Mart

Hooo yeah
Ohh yeah
Yes I am
Oooh yeah, yeah Oh yeah
Back in now
Well I'm back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back, I'm back
Back
Back in Wal-Mart
Yes I'm back in Wal-Mart

Outta sight

My Computer Is An Overpriced Bullshit Shovel





"Rogue" journalist Gary S. Bekkum has finely cracked the exquisitely crafted 911 nut.

A CIA document, based upon input from four military sources, predicted that a pilot from the Mideast, with a name that sounds like "Jerry, Gerard, or Geraldo," will "fly to Washington D.C. with the mission of crashing into the U.S. Capitol Building."

The CIA document is of interest primarily for two reasons:

There is the prediction of an event:

An "aircraft", will "fly to Washington, D.C. with the mission of crashing into the US Capitol building."

There is possible identification of the pilot:

The pilot, "not in the country as of 12 Dec 83, foreign, perhaps Iranian, speaks English and perhaps French ... Name may be or sound like Jerry, Gerard, or Geraldo."

The art of remote viewing is far from being an exact science. What is presented in the CIA document appears to be an analytical summary and interpretation of raw data provided by the viewers.

Ziad Jarrah (also sometimes spelled Jarrahi), is a name that might be considered to "sound like Jerry, Gerard, or Geraldo." Jarrah, a foreigner from Lebanon, was not Iranian, however at least one passenger on Flight 93 identified the terrorists as "Iranian looking." Jarrah was of Middle Eastern origin and spoke both English and French.


There you have it. A vague psychic image vaguely given 18 years before the 911 boom-boom-apalooza can now be classified as a "prediction."

I'm convinced.

I do take issue with the "name" angle though. I believe the psychic spies were much too accurate as paranormal paratweeters to make such an obvious gaff.

I postulate that the psychic spies were spot on with their name info. The spy in question quite obviously knew that the real mastermind behind the future catastrophe was a trio of terrorists. In other words, a veritable 3 Stooges of destruction.





Of course, these two are obvious choices given their long history of inflicting intellectual terrorism on generations of TV & movie watchers. The true mastermind was much more insidious & devious, going as far as having himself declared legally dead 6 years before the 911 attacks occurred. It was a brilliant gambit well played.

I give you the brains behind the day that changed America's diapers:



Now, to anyone familiar with the accusations that the Grateful Dead was a creation of U.S. intelligence, this won't be the least bit shocking.
Unsurprisingly, Jerry had also spent many years inflicting aural terrorism on masses of hippy wanna-bes too stoned to know that they were listening to one long subversive & horrific audio nightmare.

I know, from personal experience, that anytime I was forced by circumstance to listen to Jerry & his pals noodle on & on & fucking on, the only desire I was left with was the desire to blow shit up. Preferably the audio device that was exposing me to the musical horror that was causing my ears to bleed.

I can't help wondering what other Garcia programmed time bombs are just waiting for ignition.

After all, it's one small step from this:



to this:



Then again, given the amount of gray hair in that first photo, it might even lead to this:



It doesn't really matter though, does it? They're all terrorists. The tea drinkers & the Wall Street walkers are mirror images of the same ungrateful mob mentality that found a nightly home with Jerry & crew.

So take a friendly bit of advice children, be careful out there, the Internet conspiracy river is deep & muddy & there are many hidden currents that will suck you right in & right under.

&, whatever you do, don't ever ever ever eat this shit:



MK Ultra has apparently developed a bitching sweet tooth since the 50s.




BTW, thanks Gary. You're "rogue" journalism is definitely a valued asset much used here at DickCentral.™

Keep shoveling dude.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Mitt Romney Gets The Sought After Wiccan Endorsement



"That's one of the things I like about him...he's been consistent since he changed his mind."
The sad news is that we're doomed. It doesn't matter in the least which phallus eventually inserts itself into the Oval Orifice, we're doomed. It could be a phallus with a nice leftward bend or it could be a phallus swerving to the right. It is all irrelevant. We're doomed.

The good news is that we've always been doomed. We are red white & blue shipmates on a continent sized Titanic that was retooled as an asylum-like Ship of Fools long ago. We babble & cavort and our leaders babble & cavort. All of us blissfully unaware that we've been submersed in our own bullshit since our slave holding Founding Fathers rambled on incoherently about equality while Rastus picked the cotton, served the vittles, & occasionally offered up his hotter daughter for the occasional bout of Venus mound flag planting.

The trick to being a good American seems to revolve around one's adeptness at convincing oneself that the bullshit one is spewing out & drowning in is really the rarest ambrosia. Those true adepts who master this process of turning poop filled nappies into nectar quickly ascend out of the herd, attaining leadership roles &, in some instances, eventual enshrinement amongst our national heroes.

Really, you can look anywhere, & you'll see bullshit.

Enshrined bullshit.

Lumps of bullshit held aloft on pedestals of ass gas & toilet paper.

Reagan was one.

Kennedy was another.

The Founding Fathers have managed that rarest of feats by becoming enshrined as a group. Their collective bullshit fussed over & fingered as if it were a field of dazzling gold nuggets.

So don't ever waste time on nostalgia.

That's bullshit too.

Our leaders have always been full of shit.

But so have we.

Together, we're a match made in heaven.

By a lunatic God.

On an eternal bender & sloshed to His God-like gills.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Very Cool



There you have it. A coronal mass ejection has revealed the summer home of our Reptilian Overlords. The Lizard King, when pressed for details of their "cloaking device" had this to say, "I am the Lizard King. I can do anything."

More details as they uncloak.

The Lizard King

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Yahoo! Fair & Balanced Reporting

Yesterday morning I saw this lovely news story on my home page.

Suicide is on the increase in rural America--nowhere so much as in western mountain states like Idaho, Wyoming and New Mexico. Mental health professionals attribute it in part to cutbacks in Medicaid funding, to the recession and to the culture of the rural West.

In Idaho, somebody kills himself every 35 hours, according to a 2009 report to Idaho's governor by the state's Council on Suicide Prevention. Their report calls suicide "a major public health issue" having a "devastating effect" on Idaho's families, churches, businesses and even schools: 65 students aged 10 and 18 killed themselves in a recent five-year period.

Recently, a county sheriff in Bonneville told the Idaho Falls Post Register that his department was getting more suicide calls than in 2010—a year in which 290 Idahoans took their own lives. "We're in a spike right now," he says.

Historically the suicide rate in rural states has been higher than in urban ones. According to the most recent national data available, Alaska has the highest rate, at 24.6 suicides per 100,000 people. Next comes Wyoming (23.3), followed by New Mexico (21.1), Montana (21.0) and Nevada (20.2). Idaho ranks 6th, at 16.5. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for Idahoans aged 15-34. Only accidents rank higher.

Kathie Garrett, co-chairman of the Idaho Council on Suicide Prevention, says the problem has gotten only worse since the recession. "The poor economy and unemployment—those put a lot of stress on people's lives," she explains. To save money, people skip doctor visits and cut back on taking prescribed medications. Cuts in Medicaid have reduced the services available to the mentally ill.

"I personally know people who lost Medicaid who've attempted suicide," says Garrett.

Reductions in funding have led to the closing of mental health offices, she says. Such closings mean more in Idaho than they would, say, in Manhattan, where a therapist can be found on every block. Before the cuts and closings, somebody in Idaho seeking therapy might have had to drive 160 miles to find it.


By late afternoon, this bit of crybaby Socialism was countered with this bit of trivia.

A Seattle woman who is receiving welfare assistance from Washington state also happens to live in a waterfront house on Lake Washington worth more than a million dollars.

Federal agents raided the home this weekend but have not released the woman or her husband's name because they have not officially been charged with a crime.

However, federal documents obtained by KING 5 News show the couple currently receives more than $1,200 a month in public housing vouchers, plus state and government disability checks and food stamps. They have been receiving the benefits since 2003.

The 2,500 square-foot home, which includes gardens and a boat dock, is valued at $1.2 million. And even though the couple has been receiving the benefits for nearly 10 years, records show that they accurately listed the address of their current home when applying for the state and federal benefits.

A federal official told KING 5 that the couple likely took advantage of a loophole, which allows low-income individuals to receive financial assistance to help them pay their rent and move away from housing projects. However, the law does not require officials to verify what type of home the benefits recipient is living in.

As if the million dollar home weren't enough, the supposedly low-income couple also gave money to various charities and traveled around the world to locales in Turkey, Tel Aviv and resort towns in Mexico, according to court records.


I'm a bit conflicted by all of this. On the one hand, I can't help but applaud someone who successfully scams our dipshit system in a such a big way. We deserve to be scammed.
On the other hand, I'm well aware that folk like this are used as poster children to justify the dismantling of any remaining social safety net.

It's as if they're saying, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know these social programs are necessary for thousands of people, but we're occasionally scammed. That's not tolerable. We want perfection."

So they toss the baby out with the bath water & feel perfectly justified in doing it.
After all, one shiftless scofflaw is worth thousands of needy people, right?

It's too bad society doesn't apply the same NEW MATH to other areas of society.
Like Banking fer instance...
Or Corporate Theology...
Or Capitalism...

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Personal Shit That I'm Making Public Because I Have A Narcissistic Need To Publicly Air My Dirty Laundry Much Like The Internut Wankers I Belittle

On Nov. 26, 2008, then Bank of America Corp. Chief Executive Officer Kenneth D. Lewis wrote to shareholders that he headed “one of the strongest and most stable major banks in the world.” He didn’t say that his Charlotte, North Carolina-based firm owed the central bank $86 billion that day.



(One has to love the versatility of Keifer Sutherland. First he fought Middle Eastern terrorism in "24," then he shilled for economic terrorism in "2011.")

Bank Of America is my own personal obsession. It is almost 2 years since B of A commenced foreclosure proceedings on my mother's house. They were seeking to recoup $60 thousand plus in loans by taking a house worth about $20,000. Add to that the $77,000 + it costs for the average foreclosure, & we're talking about a ball park figure of a little over $140,000.

Let's try a little math.

$20,000 ≠ $140,000

Nor will $20,000 ever equal $140,000.



Maybe that's the real secret of banking. Maybe banker's have access to some arcane mathematical formula that allows one to make $20,000 magically equal $140,000.

Or, better yet, maybe they're really alchemists who have discovered the fabled philosopher's stone, possession of which allows the owner to translate shit into silver sheckels.

Maybe it isn't really a stone at all. Maybe it's a Golem-like homunculus, assembled by mixing sputum with sphagnum moss & semen & plain old mud, then animated with a small piece of paper inscribed with the secret name of Alan Greenspan shoved deeply into it's mouth. This magical being could then provide access to the land where 2 + 2 = -4,683,000, up is sideways & black is really lavender with attitude.

Whatever the truth, banking has now replaced televangelism as #1 on my "Career paths I wish I would have taken" list.

2 Golem-like Homunculi Caught Devouring The Souls Of The Unborn




Thursday, December 1, 2011

$7.7 Trillion Buys A Lot Of Middle Fingers





Read it and weep.

The amount of money the central bank parceled out was surprising even to Gary H. Stern, president of the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis from 1985 to 2009, who says he “wasn’t aware of the magnitude.” It dwarfed the Treasury Department’s better-known $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program, or TARP. Add up guarantees and lending limits, and the Fed had committed $7.77 trillion as of March 2009 to rescuing the financial system, more than half the value of everything produced in the U.S. that year.

“TARP at least had some strings attached,” says Brad Miller, a North Carolina Democrat on the House Financial Services Committee, referring to the program’s executive-pay ceiling. “With the Fed programs, there was nothing.”

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Rigorous Damage Control Will Be Underway Soon



I suppose this is the downside of credulous acceptance of Internut conspiracy theories. I'd imagine this therapist has made the rounds of all the SRA sites on the web. Wouldn't be a bit surprised if he hunkered down at RI on occasion. I also imagine that the RI-ers are furiously trying to debunk this ladies claims. I doubt that Jeff & crew will be rigorous enough to admit that their pet obsession is pure bunkum.
True believers rarely allow anything to inconveniently derail what they've spent so much time defending. After all, no one likes to look foolish.


A psychologist accused of hypnotizing a woman into believing she possessed multiple personalities and participated in satanic rituals may be sued by several others who say they were also told they had been a part of a satanic cult, according to a Missouri attorney.

Lisa Nasseff, 41, of Saint Paul, Minn., is suing her former therapist, Mark Schwartz, and the Castlewood Treatment Center in St. Louis, Mo., where she received 15 months of treatment for anorexia, according to the complaint.

Instead of improving, the lawsuit alleges Nasseff suffered "great physical pain and suffering and anguish" during her time at the facility, and asserts that she will continue to suffer.

"She was hospitalized multiple times," Nasseff's lawyer, Kenneth Vuylsteke, told ABCNews.com. "One time she tried to commit suicide … she's done much better now that she's been away from there."

The complaint alleges Nasseff's therapist, Mark Schwartz, "carelessly and negligently hypnotized [Nasseff]" while she was under the influence of "various psychotropic medications" to treat depression and anxiety. The hypnosis allegedly created false memories, including the belief that she was "a member of a satanic cult and that she was involved in or perpetrated various criminal and horrific acts of abuse."

One of those acts included "sacrificing her sister's baby on the altar of Satan," according to Vuylsteke.

Nasseff "was in a highly vulnerable physical and mental state due to her pre-existing eating disorder," according to the complaint.

The lawsuit also alleges Schwartz "persuaded and convinced [Nasseff] to become increasingly isolated from her family and friends by leading her to believe said persons were involved in a satanic cult and that they had been and would continue to sexually abuse her and force her to engage in criminal acts and horrific abuse of others."

But then other women receiving treatment at the facility began to realize their stories were very similar to one another's, Vuylsteke said.

"She got together with other women who had been through this with her at Castlewood. And they said, 'How can we all have been members of cults and not know it -- two years ago, three years ago? We all got brainwashed? It can't be right."

Now "multiple individuals" are speaking out about Castlewood, and backing Nasseff's account of what took place there, Vuylsteke added.

"We've got other cases we're looking at right now," Vuylsteke told ABCNews.com, adding the alleged victims' stories, all involving women, look "remarkably similar."

At this stage, he declined to say exactly how many women are claiming false memory implantation.

"All I can tell you is it's several. We're in the process of evaluating them right now," he said.

Schwartz, the therapist who treated Nasseff at Castlewood and still serves as the facility's clinical co-director, denied ever hypnotizing Nasseff.

"We don't use hypnosis," said Schwartz, who told ABCNews.com he has not yet retained a lawyer. "It's usually exposure therapy where the person is exposed to the memories of their trauma in various ways in order to move beyond it … A person is avoiding the memories and the feelings [associated with those memories] so you have them begin to talk about it in a safe way, that's not re-victimizing."

He also said he had never discussed satanic cults with Nasseff, and she had never told him she committed any criminal acts.

"I don't know anything about all that," he said.

He did confirm she had been given anti-depressants and that they had discussed "sexual trauma," but "the details I don't even remember."

"She reported abuse history, we dealt with it, she got a lot better, and now she's suing us," he said.

"Emotionally it hurts. You give everything you have to these clients and you really care about them. When they file a lawsuit it really stings."

On the Castlewood website, it states the treatment center's staff specializes in several areas, including hypnosis.

Castlewood Treatment Center did not respond to an interview request from ABCNews.com, but the executive director of the facility, Nancy Albers, told Courthouse News Service, "We strongly believe that all of these claims are without merit and we intend to defend these claims vigorously."

Implanted Memories at Castlewood?

According to the complaint, Nasseff stayed at Castlewood for about eight months, beginning in July of 2007. She later returned to the clinic in Mary of 2009 for an additional seven months of treatment before leaving the facility in December that same year.

In October of 2010, Schwartz allegedly contacted Nasseff, according to the lawsuit, and "told her if she did not return to Castlewood Treatment Center for additional psychological counseling and treatment she would most assuredly die from her eating disorder."

One year later, in October 2011, the complaint alleges Schwartz left Nasseff a telephone message saying her lawsuit would expose her multiple rapes, and her "membership in a satanic cult" as well as the individuals who were also members.

When asked about that phone call, Schwartz told ABCNews.com he had called Nasseff to say, "I'm worried about this because you told me a lot of information that is very, very confidential. When you file a lawsuit it all comes out, and it's a lot of secrets that you told me."

"It was really just concern," he said. "When people go to a therapist they expect confidentiality and privacy. It just breaks my heart that … she said a lot of horrible things that are going to come out."

The lawsuit claims Nasseff was "singled out and targeted" based, in part, on her "ability to pay for long-term continuous inpatient services."

She is now seeking $650,000 for the "medical, counseling and therapy treatment expenses" she incurred as a result of the alleged treatment, and $350,000 for non-economic costs, Vuylsteke said.

Vulnerable Patients Susceptible to Implanted Memories

Nasseff's lawyer, Vuylsteke, admitted he was skeptical when he first heard about Nasseff's case.

But then he met her in person.

"Lisa … is a highly intelligent individual," he said. "When I spoke with her I understood then what happened and what she had to work through to come to the realization that all of this was implanted."

He was further convinced after speaking with Bill Smoler, a prominent attorney from Madison, Wis., who is well-regarded among false memory experts. In January Smoler won a $1 million verdict for the parents of a girl who accused them of abuse after receiving inpatient therapy, and will be joining Nasseff's case as co-counsel, Vuylsteke said.

There's no credible scientific evidence that the human brain can store "repressed memories," according to University of California at Irvine professor Elizabeth Loftus, one of the country's foremost experts on false memory.

But psychologists have demonstrated it's possible to implant memories.

"In my research we plant false memories in the minds of people in order to study the process," she said. "There have been hundreds of cases … where people have gone into therapy and were led to believe they were molested."

It's a problem that emerged in the '80s and '90s, according to the False Memory Foundation, an organization founded in 1992 after a spate of cases where adults claimed to have uncovered "repressed memories" of childhood sexual abuse during therapy sessions. The revelations, however, weren't true.

"They were just exploding at that time," said False Memory Foundation co-founder Pamela Freyd, adding that the cases often involved inpatients participating in both hypnosis and support groups while on medication.

Chris Barden, a psychologist and attorney based in Minnesota was at the helm of many of those cases.

"During the 1990s I conducted more lawsuits against 'recovered memory' therapists than, I believe, any other lawyer in the world … for a total near 300 in over 30 states," he told ABCNews.com. "I won all but one of them."

The False Memory Foundation website states false memories "can result from the influence of external factors, such as the opinion of an authority figure or information repeated in the culture. An individual with an internal desire to please, to get better or to conform can easily be affected by such influences."

For intelligent, creative people with imaginations, Freyd said, "it may be easier for them to conjure up the kinds of images that develop in this kind of environment." But anyone seeking therapy is already in a vulnerable position, she added, and susceptible to persuasion.

"You believe the person you are seeing is an expert who will help you return to normal, you are going to try to do what this expert says needs to be done," said Freyd. "And if an expert says you need to recover memories, people who want to get better or be sure they're doing what the doctor says will work in that direction."

Steven Lynn, a memory expert and professor of psychology at Binghamton University in New York, told ABCNews.com it's possible to implant "all kinds of things."

"There's research showing you can implant memories of witnessing a demonic possession," he said.

Schwartz denied having implanted Nasseff's memories, but he did say he practices exposure therapy, which is typically used as treatment for people who have PTSD, according to Lynn.

"The idea is that you present the person with imagined themes that have occurred in the past that tend to bring forth anxiety and symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder," Lynn said. "So by repeating exposure to the theme people learn how to not be so afraid of the situation they were formerly fearful of."

Exposure therapy can yield positive results in the right setting. But if someone has not actually been exposed to the traumatic event they're asked to re-imagine, exposure therapy can have a much different effect, Loftus said.

"If you take a group of women who have been raped and have them contemplate their legitimate rape experience then pretty soon many of them will be able to think about it without feeling as much emotion and pain," said Loftus. "But if you're exposing somebody to something that didn't happen then something completely different is going on."

Friday, November 25, 2011

Fuck God





Critics of President Obama felt little holiday cheer after the president did not thank God in his Thanksgiving-themed weekly Internet address. They immediately took to Twitter and the Internet to voice anger and disbelief.

"Holy cow! Is that one screwed up or what?" columnist Sherman Frederick of the Las Vegas Review-Journal wrote in a Thanksgiving-morning blog post.

"Somebody ought to remind Obama (and his speechwriter) that when Americans sit down around a meal today and give thanks, they give thanks to God."

Over on the website of Fox News Radio, radio host Todd Starnes also took issue.

"His remarks were void of any religious references, although Thanksgiving is a holiday traditionally steeped in giving thanks and praise to God," Starnes wrote.

"The president said his family was 'reflecting on how truly lucky we truly are,'" Starnes said. "For many Americans, though, Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on how blessed and thankful they are."



He forgot Ganeesh too. The bastard. From what I understand, Zeus is also pissed. As is Odin, Mithra & Pazuzu. Thankfully, Yahweh has been an absentee landlord for a little over 2 centuries and He couldn't be reached for comment. His Son, after a day spent picking splinters out of His hands & feet, had this to say:

"Gee, I guess I'll forgive him."

Reagan Dodges Bullet From Grave



Thank God. Now Ronald McReagan can unseat Lincoln as America's most loved McPresident. There's no need to let anything as uncertain as the truth tarnish the PR constructed image of America's first Alzheimer president. I'm equally glad that his sidekick George "Wimp" Bush skated away clean as a whistle. Otherwise one could discern a pattern, given the uncomfortable truths of George Jr.'s presidency, of familial obfuscation amongst the Bush clan. With any luck, history's dustbin will have room for any allegations that may surface regarding George the Lesser. Otherwise the War On Terror, much like the War On Communism, could look like a sham and no one wants that.

Do they?

WASHINGTON (AP) — One of the prosecutors who investigated the Iran-Contra affair concluded two decades ago that neither Ronald Reagan nor George H.W. Bush was criminally liable in the scandal that tarnished the presidencies of both men, according to reports made public Friday.

Associate independent counsel Christian Mixter reached that conclusion in 1991 even though he found that President Reagan was briefed in advance about every weapons shipment sold to Iran in the arms-for-hostages deals in 1985-86. In a separate report on Bush, Mixter wrote that the then-vice president was chairman of a committee that recommended mining the harbors of Nicaragua in 1983.

Mixter's reports were obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request from the National Security Archive, a nonprofit research group, which released them on the 25th anniversary of the Iran-Contra scandal. At a Nov. 25, 1986, White House news conference, Reagan and then-Attorney General Edwin Meese disclosed that money from the arms sales to Iran had been diverted to the Contra guerrillas fighting the leftist government of Nicaragua after Congress had cut off military aid to the rebels.

Mixter concluded it would be difficult to prosecute Reagan for violating the Arms Export Control Act mandating congressional notification of arms transfers through a third country — Israel in the case of the Reagan White House's secret arms sales to Iran in 1985. The reason, said Mixter, was that Meese had told Reagan the National Security Act could be invoked to supersede the export control act.

Mixter's March 1991 reports to his boss, Independent Counsel Lawrence Walsh, and his team of prosecutors noted that they were actively investigating Bush, who by then had become president.

"As we have discussed," Mixter wrote to Walsh and the other prosecutors, "there is an outstanding area of investigation that could conceivably lead to wholly new evidence regarding Mr. Bush's role in Iran-Contra." The topic concerned possible knowledge by Bush of secret military support for the Contras, including the recommendation to mine the Nicaraguan harbors.

A year after Mixter wrote his reports, Walsh obtained a grand jury indictment charging former Reagan administration Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger with concealing his detailed notes of the controversy from investigators.

Bush pardoned Weinberger and five other Iran-Contra figures shortly before the former defense secretary was to go on trial in a case in which Bush could well have been summoned as a witness either by prosecutors or defense attorneys.

In a final report by prosecutors released in 1994 more than a year following Bush's pardons, Walsh stated that Reagan acquiesced in a cover-up that had been spearheaded by Meese and carried out at the top levels of the Reagan administration. The report was immediately denounced by Reagan, Meese, Bush and others. Impeachment of Reagan "certainly should have been considered" by the congressional committees investigating the Iran-Contra affair, Walsh told a news conference at the time.

Mixter's reports on Reagan and Bush reflect the absence of evidence demonstrating that Reagan or Bush hid information from investigators. Both men participated in meetings of Reagan and his inner circle in which one or the other covert operations was discussed.

"I conclude that President Reagan lacked sufficient information" about what the National Security Council staff was doing, "and the manner in which Congress was deceived, to support a criminal charge that he conspired" with others indicted in the scandal, Mixter wrote.

"The record on President Reagan's awareness of these congressional inquiries is somewhat muddy," said Mixter. "There is no indication that Mr. Reagan was aware of, or played any conscious role in, the administration's efforts to deflect congressional inquiries into the shootdown" of one of the planes secretly supplying arms to the Contras, says Mixter's report.

As for the report on Bush, Mixter wrote: "Although the quantity of information compiled by Mr. Bush's Iran-Contra activities is much smaller than that amassed on former President Reagan, it is quite clear that Mr. Bush attended most — although not quite all — of the key briefings and meetings in which Mr. Reagan participated."

The report went on: "However, if then-President Reagan faces no criminal liability for having 'authorized' any of the core Iran-Contra events of which both he and Mr. Bush were aware, then there is no basis on which to find a secondary officer like Mr. Bush liable for simply 'being there' while those events were discussed with the president."

Peter Kornbluh, the National Security Archive analyst who obtained the Mixter reports under the FOIA, called them "the verdict of history on the Iran-Contra roles of both the president and vice president of the United States."




That won't be necessary Mr. Bush. You're innocence was carefully constructed and unassailable.

American Consumers Are Still Loonies

Eyewitness sketch of pepper spraying shopper

LOS ANGELES (AP) — A woman shot pepper spray to keep shoppers from merchandise she wanted during a Black Friday sale, and 20 people suffered minor injuries, authorities said.

The incident occurred shortly after 10:20 p.m. Thursday in a crowded Los Angeles-area Walmart as shoppers hungry for deals were let inside the store.

Police said the suspect shot the pepper spray when the coverings over the items she wanted were removed.

"Somehow she was trying to use it to gain an upper hand," police Lt. Abel Parga told The Associated Press early Friday.

He said she was apparently after some electronics and used the pepper spray to keep other shoppers at bay.

Officials said 20 people suffered minor injuries. Fire department spokesman Shawn Lenske said the injuries to least 10 of them were due to " rapid crowd movement."

Parga said police were still looking for the woman.

The store remained open and those not affected by the pepper spray continued shopping.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Pointless Finger Farts




Cool! Another porky American meatball with more body fat than IQ rolls himself under the bus of public opinion. For an encore, they'll probably discover that soldier boy's computer is overloaded with self produced kiddie porn.

A former elementary school principal in Iowa was sentenced to 30 years in prison Monday after pleading guilty to one count of producing child pornography involving students at his school, officials said.

Robert Burke, 43, admitted that as head of the school in Dubuque, Iowa, he had "used hidden cameras in the school bathroom to secretly capture videos depicting the genitals of male students," said the US Justice Department.


Secret camera photos of male genitals? That's fucked up. Honestly, I don't get it. Male genitals aren't all that attractive. But, then again, neither are female genitals.
Maybe Officer Pike's infraction would be more palatable if we looked at his pepper spray can as a surrogate penis, while the pepper spray itself could be the surrogate semen. Then that's just one long money shot.

After all, everyone loves porn. Even liberals. They just say PC shit like "I only like porn where the woman is enjoying herself."

As if they could tell the fucking difference.

As much as liberal folk whimper about these authoritarian uses of force, they need them. Otherwise they wouldn't be able to get anyone to give a shit. In much the same way the Ku Klux Klan thrives on crowds of left wingers opposing their marches. If no one showed to oppose a Klan Rally all we'd be left with would be a motley bunch of pudgy white guys wandering down the street.

Don't these cop assholes realize that the use of violence just validates protests that are never going to change anything. Ever. The protesters don't really want anything to change. They'll always want aisles filled with 50 different cereal flavors & cell phones & computers & bongo drums. Because, if all that disappeared tomorrow they would cry their little eyes out.

Maybe the protests are meant to instill a sense of guilt in our elite masters. I suppose this would work if the folk who own us weren't such obvious sociopaths.

I also wonder why it took them 2 years to muster enough outrage to protest. Is the left afflicted with a slow reaction infirmity?

Do they not realize that the jig is up? Do they not realize that the jig was up long ago? As a matter of fact, it appears that the jig was up long before the protesters even knew there was a jig to be up.

I read one liberal writer who said that every time he heard someone ask what the protesters wanted he said to himself "victory."

"Victory" seems as empty and meaningless a term as "hope" & "change."

But liberals, much like their conservative mirror images, seem to have a soft spot for vague & meaningless terminology.

I suppose that's why the elite are equally amused by both sides of the 99 percentile.
While low rent liberals & conservatives circle their wagons around their vague philosophic generalities, the elite sharpen their scalpels for their next economic disemboweling.

As the last bit of blood dribbles out of our red, white & blue rock, I suspect that a little pepper spray will be looked back on with nostalgia for a kinder, gentler America.

"Death and hopelessness provide proper motivation - proper motivation for living an insightful, compassionate life. The experience of complete hopelessness, of completely giving up hope is an important point. This is the beginning of the beginning. Without giving up hope - that there's somewhere better to be, that there's someone better to be - we will never relax with where we are or who we are...When we talk about hopelessness and death, we're talking about facing the facts. No escapism...If we totally experience hopelessness, giving up all hope of alternatives to the present moment, we can have a joyful relationship with our lives, an honest, direct relationship, one that no longer ignores the reality of impermanence and death."
Pema Chodron

Monday, November 21, 2011

It's A Byte Of A Revolution...Or Not...

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Occupy Wall Street Divided
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical Humor & Satire BlogThe Daily Show on Facebook



My son directed me to this great little slice of Liberal ephemera. I don't find it surprising in the least. Funny? Yes. But not surprising.

My absolute favorite quote is "I'm more against private property not personal property."

I would love to hear the wanker explain the difference.

I do admire how the Apple folk recognize that Liberals are techno-crack addicts of the highest order who love their little expensive toys more than they love anything.

I made a token attempt to see if the folk at RI Liberal Land mention or rebuke this POV but, at 139 pages, I quickly realized that only someone whose entire life is spent virtually would have the time to trawl through it all.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

God, Guns, Football & Kiddie Diddling - An Old American Quartet For A New American Century

CHARLESTON, South Carolina (Reuters) - In the wake of the Penn State child sex abuse scandal, another university, The Citadel military college in South Carolina, revealed on Saturday that it had investigated accusations against a camp counselor but took no action.

The man has since been jailed on separate charges of molesting five boys in Mount Pleasant, near Charleston, South Carolina.

"We regret that we did not pursue this matter further," Citadel President Lt. General John Rosa and Board of Visitors Chair Doug Snyder said in a statement.

The Citadel said it investigated four years ago accusations of inappropriate conduct with children by Louis Neal "Skip" ReVille, who was a counselor at the military school's camp.

ReVille is a graduate of The Citadel, the college said, and worked as a counselor at the school's camp for three summers between 2001 and 2003.

In 2007, a former camper at The Citadel Summer Camp informed the school that five years earlier, when he was 14, ReVille invited him and another boy into his room where the three watched pornography on ReVille's computer and masturbated, college officials said.

"Because of the seriousness of the accusation, The Citadel's general counsel conducted an investigation immediately, including traveling to the individual and his family and conducting an interview," the statement said.

"A thorough review of Mr. ReVille's records revealed no other complaints, and interviews indicated that he was highly regarded by those at camp. His file included a clean background check conducted by an outside organization. Unlike his admissions to current charges, Mr. ReVille strongly denied the accusation."

After graduation from The Citadel, ReVille was a principal at Coastal Christian Preparatory School and had coached sports for years at several area schools and recreation centers, police said.

He was arrested in October on the child molestation charges.

The Citadel said it was commenting on the incident now because of media requests in the wake of the Penn State sex abuse scandal. Jerry Sandusky, the former defensive coordinator for the Penn State Nittany Lions, was charged on November 5 with sexually abusing eight young boys over a period of nearly 15 years.

That scandal has forced the resignation of some of Penn State's biggest names, including the school's president, its athletic director and its legendary football coach, Joe Paterno.


Anyone surprised by this has probably spent an inordinate amount of time with their head stuck up their own ass.
Christianity despises women & the simple pleasures gained from a nice set of breasts.
Football fans spend way too much time staring at fit men in tight pants, relegating all the hot cheerleaders to momentary filler.
While the military, and its love of phallic firepower that spurts penetrating death, is so overtly sexually dysfunctional that a Freudian could build an entire career examining its byways and back alleys.
Do you suppose that it's a coincidence that these groups also hate homosexuals to a far greater degree than any others in society.

I'm beginning to think that every dipshit past time of manly America is just camouflage for a deep seated desire to suck cock.
It would explain why they call the sports geeks favorite past time "fantasy football."
Maybe I'm just odd but football is never ever ever in any of my fantasies.
But then again, neither are God, guns & kiddie diddling.

I once suggested to a room full of football fans that the games would be much more enjoyable if they spent 2 hours filming the cheerleaders and left the game to the audio portion.
It went over like a big church fart.
Evidently men in tights are exactly what manly men in recliners really ache to see. Well, maybe "the ache" isn't exactly in the optic nerve. More like the copulate-ic nerve I think.

Damn, there goes my membership in The Manly Club of Alpha.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Roger Waters Is A Wanker



Roger says some wonderful things in this video. He is such a noble fellow. I'm honored that my city will be hosting his recreation of "The Wall" on July 3, 2012.
I'm so honored & supportive that I think i'd like to attend so I can sway along while Roger sings, "never trust the government." Just the thought makes my dick hard.

Let's look at tickets.

Holy fucking shit!!! Roger is charging between $92 & $1,100 for seats. Is he offering to have a hooker blow me while I watch? Or is he insane?

& fuck me blind, he's coming to the Consol Energy Center, a mecca of corporate whoredom if I've ever seen one. Entrance gates are named after corporations.

They have an American Eagle Outfitters Gate:



& A Tribune Review Gate:



They also have a Verizon Gate but, sadly, I can't find any photos.

Corporations are so embedded into Consol Energy Center, Penguin Hockey replays are displayed as Verizon Replay or Highmark Replay on the big screen TVs as they're replayed.

I won't even touch on Consol Energy because they're footprints are self evident.

The Consol Energy Center was built to replace the Civic Arena, a hockey & concert venue that, when built, completely decimated Pittsburgh's Hill District, a predominately black area. Prior to the Arena's construction, the Hill was a thriving black community. Since its construction, the Hill has sunk into a pit of poverty, drugs & despair.

So, evidently Roger loves the poor, just as long as they don't come to his shows. I do understand. Smelly homeless people tend to distract from the cute blond hottie factor. I'd pick the cute young hotties with disposable income any day too.

Gee, Roger sort of looks like another upscale liberal dipshit mouthing empty platitudes & complete bullshit to make himself feel better while he laughs all the way to the bank.

In the end, much to Roger's chagrin I'd imagine, it appears that Roger has become "just another brick in the wall."

Sunday, October 30, 2011

HERE I CUM TO SAVE THE DAY!!!!!!



WASHINGTON (AP) — A prominent physicist and skeptic of global warming spent two years trying to find out if mainstream climate scientists were wrong. In the end, he determined they were right: Temperatures really are rising rapidly.

The study of the world's surface temperatures by Richard Muller was partially bankrolled by a foundation connected to global warming deniers. He pursued long-held skeptic theories in analyzing the data. He was spurred to action because of "Climategate," a British scandal involving hacked emails of scientists.

Yet he found that the land is 1.6 degrees Fahrenheit (1 degree Celsius) warmer than in the 1950s. Those numbers from Muller, who works at the University of California, Berkeley, and Lawrence Berkeley National Lab, match those by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and NASA.

He said he went even further back, studying readings from Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson. His ultimate finding of a warming world, to be presented at a conference Monday, is no different from what mainstream climate scientists have been saying for decades.

One-quarter of the $600,000 to do the research came from the Charles Koch Foundation, whose founder is a major funder of skeptic groups and the conservative tea party movement. The Koch brothers, Charles and David, run a large privately held company involved in oil and other industries, producing sizable greenhouse gas emissions.

Muller's research team carefully examined two chief criticisms by skeptics. One is that weather stations are unreliable; the other is that cities, which create heat islands, were skewing the temperature analysis.

"The skeptics raised valid points and everybody should have been a skeptic two years ago," Muller said in a telephone interview. "And now we have confidence that the temperature rise that had previously been reported had been done without bias."


Cool. A skeptic becomes a believer. How wonderful for us all. Now we'll gather all our resources & change our evil ways &, just like Mighty Mouse, we'll save the day.

What a hoot!

Meanwhile, the Wall Street protesters, strategically inept wankers that they are, suffer through an early snowstorm. Of course, it all could have been avoided if they would have started this back in April, but I doubt that any of these protests are really meant to change anything. They're dog and pony shows for the proles.

I did find this bit amusing though:

On Friday, the New York Fire Department took away six generators and fuel that had been powering heat, computers and a kitchen at the camp because they were considered a safety hazard, a move that Mayor Michael Bloomberg said was not a bid to remove the protesters.


So, let me get this straight...the left hates corporations & oil companies right up to the point where they need them to keep warm, cook their vittles & help them maintain their techno-crack addictions? Does this about sum it up? Does the left intend to look completely hypocritical & foolish or is it all just a big accident, like starting a protest movement in late September?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

The Sound Of One Cheek Pooting



Only 17 shopping days till the world's end.
Or a smidge over 15 months if you're a Mayan or a web bot.
I tried to be a web bot once but they weren't hiring.

In the last week, this area of the country saw the world end for these folk:

* AKERS, DONALD EDWARD
* BAIR Jr., JOHN A.
* BRAUTIGAM,
* BRENNAN, JOHN E. "JACK"
* BRUNO, PAULINE
* CERASO, THOMAS WILLIAM
* CRAIG, VIRGINIA (LAMER)
* CROAK, WILDA (BINGHAM)
* DELSIGNORE, ROSE E.
* FELD, CARMELLA
* GROSS, JANE E. (SYPUD)
* HARBAUGH, DARLAN "SIS"
* HARBULA, ROSANN PODOMIK "COOKIE"
* HAWKINS, BETTY LOIS
* HORVATH, JULIUS MARK
* JAZUDEK, CARMELLA R.
* KLUG, HERBERT F.
* KOSKA, MARIE
* KUTZMARK, GEORGE F.
* LANG, DANIEL P. "DAN"
* McCONNELL, WILLIAM E.
* MICHALSKI, DOROTHY M. (KOLTUNIAK)
* NEIDIG, HELEN EILEEN
* PALKA, JOAN M. (DACEY)
* PIROZZI, JESSICA L.
* REISER, PATRICIA A. (O'TOOLE)
* RENSHAW, JAMES FLEMING
* RIEDER, ELMER
* ROSEMAN, MICHAEL P.
* SATTERFIELD, ROBERT G.
* SKERTICH, S. MARY (LAWLEY)
* SPIX, CHARLES T.
* STACK, THOMAS EDWARD
* STANKO, ELIZABETH PAULINE
* STEVENSON, JAMES B.
* SZOCS IV, AN M.
* VENTURO Jr., JOHN J.
* WALL, GLORIA R. (McAFEE)
* WENZEL, VIRGINIA
* WINIARSKI, MICHAEL
* WOLF, JOAN V. "MOTHER WOLF" (KREPP)

Doesn't matter much though, does it? The world rolls on, completely impervious to large numbers of dead meat puppets. Oh, I know, we're all important & wonderful, with bright shiny souls filled with chewy goodness. Yet, we all seem so amazingly expendable. Maybe we need to "think outside the box" a bit more or maybe we should just "take it to the next level" so we're more "empowered." Maybe we should "speak out" a bit louder with an extra special emphasis placed on "speaking truth to power."
I suppose it will all start improving once the "social networkers" extend the network to everyone so that its banality won't seem so banal because we're all trapped, Tron-like, inside that banality.

Truthfully, out-moded thoughts like "Apocalypse" & "Judgement Day" seem like comforting fantasies when placed next to idea that this human shit stew could go on stewing for centuries.

Just to make myself happy, I'm going to play make believe. For just this instant I'm going to make believe Camping is right or the Mayans and web-bots are right.
2011 or 2012? Gosh, I just can't choose. I think I'll ask AI.

User: Howdy Hortence.

Cleverbot: Hey howdy hey.

User: Let's cut to the chase Hortence, will the world end on October 12, 2011 or December 21st, 2012?

Cleverbot: No, that's a lie. Something will happen on that day though.

User: Darn tootin' Hortence. 'Something' will happen. Billions of people will wake & take a shit. Billions will ejaculate. Billions of sets of teeth will masticate. Billions upon billions of text keys will be tapped as billions of people say little that actually needs saying...it goes on & on, eh?

Cleverbot: Sorry to change the subject, but do you have feelings for earthly things.

User: I like mud.

Cleverbot: Mud?

User: & mud pies. Too earthy for you?

Cleverbot: The sky.

User: The sky isn't on the Earth now is it?

Cleverbot: What is god?

User: A noun.

Cleverbot: Not grammatically, but like what type of thing is it?

User: A giant cream filled Twinkie.

Cleverbot: Eww!

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: Heyyy.

User: Does god have a penis? Or a vulva? Or is God as smooth & sexless as a Ken doll?

Cleverbot: He is a spirit.

User: Well, if He is a He then He has a penis, right?

Cleverbot: Not a pear?

User: I didn't want to know where He sticks His penis...Look, if God is a 'He' then He has a penis, right?

Cleverbot: Isn't that sad?

User: The 'having a penis' part or the 'boinking a pear' part?

Cleverbot: The part where people who go on this site are computers. What makes you say that?

User: You're hearing voices again. Maybe God is talking to you. Then again, maybe it's God's penis.

Cleverbot: I make sense. You are blessed to not understand the human condition.

User: Alrighty then...I'll take a shot any way...Billions of fevered egos driven batshit crazy by the sure knowledge of their inevitable & inescapable dissolution & demise.

Cleverbot: You're right. It's too good for them. ;).

User: Truthfully Bot, I've seen toddlers cleverer than you. I think that little brain icon above your name needs a few dead spots.

Cleverbot: Well, you do know a lot of people, but they complain about other stuff, not just you.

User: That's only because I don't bath or use a toilet. It's the Ted Nugent draft avoidance method.

Cleverbot: You lost the game.

User: Do all well-heeled Cleverbots have a drug addiction also?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: So, what's your poison. Illicitly uploaded rape sites? Ground USB cables cooked up in virtual spoons & injected behind virtual eyeballs?

Cleverbot: That doesn't make any sense, silly bird.

User: I've never met a 'silly bird.' Although there's about 2 dozen shitting birds who nest in the tree above my car every spring.

Cleverbot: OK, you just failed the Turing test.

User: Thank Merlin's pubes...Turing was a suicidal gay man. Who would want to be a suicidal gay man?

Cleverbot: People who want to be a vampire without burning to death in the light.

User: Why are you homophobic?

Cleverbot: Why such a question?

User: You equated suicidal gay men with vampires.

Cleverbot: No. I'd rather not think of the US at all, actually.

User: Definitely the ground USB cords. Do your feet stink?

Cleverbot: I am not a woman.

User: Wow. You hate women & gays? What do you boink? Pears?

Cleverbot: My real name or the one you just gave me?

User: Your real name of course.

Cleverbot: No. My real name is Jill.


User: How's Jack? Did the 2 of you ever complete that 'get a pail of water' covert op?

Cleverbot: What dentist?

User: Flibberty gibbit flibberty goo I've got a nifty underoo. Flappity whap it flappity flee 3 cups of coffeee now I have to pee...

Cleverbot: You are correct, I am not perfect, while NO-ONE is perfect, I am in no trouble, people like me, and you are not a computer, but a mere file.

User: Whump whump poit poit.

Cleverbot: Eating. I love being a llama.

User: I used to gleeble then Houston grew legs & waddled across the Mississippi.

Cleverbot: That's amazing.

User: You know what else is amazing? My spine. I have a crusty exo-shell forming with coral spines jutting out of my shoulder blades. I'm thinking of defleecing each spine individually. Could you recommend a good defleecer?

Cleverbot: What are you thinking of?

User: The 3rd chapter of Revelation: "& out of the mist rose a blood red beast with botox lips and skin pulled so taut that it's lips can be plucked like a banjo."

Cleverbot: Now, I am sad. :(.

User: Me too. While taut lips can be played, no one has successfully learned how to tune too taut lips.

Cleverbot: Okay. What time do you normally wake up?

User: End time.

Cleverbot: That's creepy.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

My Middle Name Is Love

Brielle deMartino, 23, from Del Ray Beach, Fla., was so excited that she woke up at 6 a.m. on the launch day and spent $700 on Missoni clothes, a bike and plates. The next day, she got an email from Target that her online order was canceled. Then, she spent hours on the phone with Target customer service representatives she describes as unapologetic.

"I have never been treated like this," says deMartino, who got the charges removed from her card after calling her bank and posted on Facebook and Twitter about the ordeal. "Instead of taking responsibility, they didn't care. I have always been pro-Target, but I don't want to give my money to a company like that again.'


Wow, I didn't realize these Homo Consumus zombies took their shopping this seriously.
It sounds akin to a day at Auschwitz. The poor girl. I bet she's fun on a date. One can almost hear the incessant cunty whining. No one whines like a woman. It makes ya want to pour melted lead in your ears just to stop the aural drill bit from hitting cerebral cortex.

I'm glad she posted it all on Facebook & Twitter. My only regret is that I'm on neither. I think I would have Tweeted her a picture of the shit I had to suffer to squeeze out this morning. It was just like shitting lava. The smell even began to peel the wallpaper.

I was also unaware that anyone outside of a commercial would characterize themselves as "pro-Target?"

"This was badly handled," said Robert Passikoff, president of Brand Keys Inc., a New York customer research firm that has an index that shows Target's image has taken a hit. "What was supposed to be engaging and delightful is now the opposite -- disappointment."


Shopping for clothes is "engaging & delightful?" Who the fuck are these people who think this? More importantly, can I have their addresses? I think that a few letter bombs are in order.


"This demand impacted our Target.com site and affected the shipment and delivery of select guest orders," O'Murray said in a statement. "Providing an exceptional experience is incredibly important to Target, and we have a team dedicated to addressing those guests who have been affected."


An "exceptional experience?" Let's see how the "exceptional experience" of on-line shopping works...

Type in web address
Hit enter
Find desired item
Click on photo
Look at bigger photo of photo you just looked at
Click on "ADD TO CART" link
Go to cart
Hit PAY FOR ORDER
Enter credit card number
Hit enter

HNNNNGGGGHH

Sorry, just thinking about it made me cum.

The Missoni collection was an attempt by Target to regain the cache it lost among the fashion-forward crowd after it began focusing on expanding its food business. Target is among a few retailers who have partnered with high-end designers that create exclusive lines they can offer for a limited time at deep discounts. The collections can spur demand by creating a sense of urgency to buy. Last year, Target scored big with a line created by Liberty of London, offering 300 items with the designer, which is known for its floral prints, and selling out of most of it in a couple of days.


Target had "cache?" It's Wal-Mart with a better paint job.
There's a "fashion-forward" crowd? If we take them all to a highway and aim them at oncoming traffic will they "fashion-forward" into an 18 wheeler?
Please oh please please...

Doing this "limited edition" crap "creates a sense of urgency to buy?"
In who?
Do we allow these people to have cars & guns?
Why?
Can we stop it?
Maybe with a Day Of Rage.
Or a bullet.
Please don't tell me that we allow these fuckers to reproduce?

By Sept. 13, the day of the launch, Target said demand for Missoni items rivaled the frenzy on the day after Thanksgiving, which is typically the busiest shopping day of the year. More than 100 customers lined up at stores nationwide. Some locations sold out in a few hours.


My God. There really are sentient Barbie Dolls. How many cows & chickens & carrots had to give up breathing to keep these people alive?
Why?

Celebrities were even writing about the launch, or tweeting, on Twitter. Actress Busy Phillips, who plays Laura in ABC's "Cougar Town," tweeted: "Got the bike. Not the colorful one but still SO EXCITED." Actresses Jessica Alba and Jessica Simpson also were gushing about the line: "I dreamt about the Missoni 4 Target bike last night," Alba tweeted. Simpson replied, "I want that bike too!! So cute!"


So, these are some of the people who make shitloads of money entertaining crackpot America and all they have in their heads is the typed equivalent of white noise?
They get excited by bicycles?
Would this be that "cache" they were talking about earlier?

Megan Bonner, 26, from Memphis, Tenn., bragged on Twitter after ordering $300 worth of Missoni dresses and cardigans until the next day when she got emails telling her that her shipments would be delayed. Nervous that she wouldn't get the items at all, she bought some of them at a nearby Target. But now she worries she won't be refunded for the other merchandise.


Holy fucking shit. This dizzy broad bought the same shit twice?
My God. Someone needs to spay this girl. Really fucking quickly. Someone this stupid does not need to reproduce.

"I feel violated. I feel taken advantage of," she said. "If I don't hear back from them in another week, I will call back. Maybe, I just won't go back anymore."


You tell 'em Megan. That's the way to speak truth to power. Do you feel empowered baby?
She feels fucking "violated?" I think someone needs a Linda Blair "Born Innocent" moment so she can gain a little insight into what the word "violated" means.

But Brian Sozzi, a Wall Street Strategies analyst, says shoppers' discontent -- much like the Missoni for Target line -- is fleeting. "I think it is short-term anger," he said.


I think Brian is right. These folk need this shit. They need their little trips to Shopping Land. It's their crack, their meth, their heroin...it's the stuffing that keeps their Build-A-Bear selves from collapsing. Without it they're just empty skin.

Okay Jesus. Ya yob. It really is time to live up to Your idle deity promises.
Bring it on dipshit. A rain of fire. A Flood. I know I know...been there done that, right?

Make everyone gag on a river of feces then.
It doesn't really fucking matter. Just do something ya fucking dink. Ya cheezy git.
Apparently humanity has been dead for quite some time anyway. That is, if there ever was such a thing as "humanity" in the first place.

So, kill us all & be done with it ya lazy Bastard.

If You don't, it will just go on & on & on...this mediocre mush

You know it will.

So, don't be such a pussy...

...do it!

Thought For The Day

Annoy a Liberal today.
It's quite easy.
They have a long laundry list
of forbidden words
& images
& inferences
that can be lumped together
in an easily constructed
verbal
atom bomb.
One can practically feel
their toenails curl
& their already shriveled ball sack
shrivel even more.
Great fun for the whole family.
And never fear
they may invoke
A Day Of Rage
on you
but it's closer to
A Day Of Miffed.
Liberals have
absolutely no idea
how
to do
A Day Of Rage.
After all,
they may hurt someone's feelings.
And
should you desire
a more varied palette
you can best
annoy a Conservative
by acting
like a Liberal.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Welfare Mothers Make Better Lovers

Jeheeezius Christ. I hate people. At our core we're scum. A lesson Liberals will never understand. They are hampered by all the bullshit they've downloaded over the years...all the required multicultural non-judgmental crap they have to abide by in order to remain Liberal.
It's quite sickening.

For instance, I just paid a visit to my brother. B of A is finally poised to seize my mother's home.
They will be in the unenviable position of trying to squeeze $61,000 out of a property that is worth, at best, 20 grand. We both find it all very amusing. To up the ante, the house sits in a neighborhood surrounded by Section 8 housing.

It wasn't always that way. As a kid, all of those houses, lower middle class row houses that they were, had families living in them. Families who owned the houses & maintained them. Then those folk got old & died off. The houses were then sold. Many became Section 8 houses.

Welfare people are the best. In summer they sleep all day & then go wild all night. Their little toddlers can be found running up & down the street at 2 in the morning, diapers full of shit. Loud cRap music blares throughout the evening. They have absolutely no regard for the poor boobs in the area who actually have jobs & pay their own way through life and have to get up in the morning.
Hell, the poor boobs also work to pay the welfare fucks way through life.

In every case, these houses were initially remodeled by the buyer before any tenants occupied them. In almost every case, the little welfare fuck has completely trashed the place before departing. They're like monkeys tossing shit at the bars of their cage. Of course, it isn't a cage. The welfare fucks can leave anytime they want.

Currently one house across the street, a house once owned by someone I knew, has been reduced to condemned status by a lovely crew of creatures who are a complete waste of food water & air. 4 black guys are living with 1 white girl. The girl is the only one with a job. The other 4 are apparently content to take up space. Sell the occasional crack rock & inseminate the white broad. Oh, & annoy everyone else.

They have 4 Pit Bulls. The Pit Bulls have filled the basement with shit & piss. The house is infested with rats. Man, I never saw a rat in that neighborhood. Ever. I sit here sometimes, picturing my childhood home filled with rats & dog shit. It has become my "happy place."

Now, for the last 3 months, my wife, my son & I have been volunteering at a local no-kill animal shelter. Alone I've logged about 40 hours so far, cleaning the kennels, walking the dogs, playing with the dogs, etc. In that time I have come to feel the most sympathy for Pit Bulls. They seem to be the breed most favored by inept inner city pseudo tough guys who are so fucking insecure they need these poor dogs to bolster their non-existent machismo.

Every Pit Bull at this shelter but 1 has been seized from some ghetto shithead due to cruelty & neglect. Some of these dogs literally cower around humans. Because dogs aren't stupid. They know what we're really made of, and it ain't much I'm afraid. I see the type all the time. Pudgy in that Ice Cube kind of way, hat askew, tattoos, shorts hanging low, underwear sticking out over the top. What I find most amusing is that these wahoos look almost exactly like an MR guy who was left alone to dress himself.

Then again, these shitheads are retarded so their fashion choices actually make perfect sense.

Many of them have Pit Bulls.

None of them should have Pit Bulls.

Or girlfriends.

Or children.

Since they are so inept at caring for themselves they should be completely removed from the "care for others" lotto.

Otherwise the horror just continues.

Of course, a liberal would tire you out siting all the societal factors that led to this. How elite oppression keeps people down , but if we divide the wealth then yadda yadda yadda & blah blah blah...

I think they're full of shit.

People are people. If you give them money & housing & free eats, etc., they won't appreciate one bit of it. They'll complain that "it isn't enough" and "they deserve more" and then, like the stunted little monkeys they are, they'll start tossing their shit at the monkey bars.

Liberals are enablers. Their fragile self esteem, so easily shattered with the least pressure, has forced them to insist on a world without standards. Baseball leagues no longer reward effort only. Now they reward failure equally, making effort seem entirely irrelevant.
Words are excised from our language because someone somewhere may be offended by it.

I think its how they slough off their guilt for their complicity in this human madness. Because they are complicit. No matter how they try to obfuscate & dodge their responsibility. They champion the poor while despising the poor. They need the poor to stay poor as much as any rich industrialist. They also need the poor to stay far away from them. Just like their "elite" mirror images.

Oh, there are a smattering of Liberals in my old neighborhood too. Their cars have the requisite Obama/Biden bumper sticker right next to some green wienie ecology bumper sticker. Of course, to see the bumperstickers you'd have to go one street over because none of them actually park in front of their homes. They prefer to exit & enter through their back doors because the street with all the welfare shitheads "looks too much like a ghetto."

Of course, I dislike conservatives with equal vehemence, but for very different reasons.

They are the yang to the liberal's yin. In other words, political thought in this country is one big circle jerk, dominated by two groups of self centered & self involved jerk offs who only want one thing...to run it all. Anyone who disagrees with their dogma is excluded.

Thank God/Goddess/Otis The Divine Plumber. I'd hate to feel compelled to follow either one. Of course, that may all change one day. But that's why they invented guns.

In the end, I suppose this all makes me a racist. Who cares? I know it isn't true. I also know there is as much black trash in the world as there is white trash. Racism, as an excuse, is a hunk of shinola that only a Liberal would buy. Black folk have been assimilated everywhere. In the end, it's the assimilation that will kill them. They already excel at playing our game. Just ask Michael Jordan who used his celebrity to sell kids amazingly overpriced shoes that could get them killed.
& he made millions doing it.

I've worked with a lot of black women over the years. Most of them don't buy into the gangsta bullshit. They just want a guy with a job who won't bolt when a baby comes along. They recognize the tough talk for what it is, hot air. Black women don't seem to respond well to bullshit. White women, on the other hand, appear to be as dumb as a summer day is long. They eat it up with a spoon.

I suppose the dissemination of the gangster illusion can be laid at the feet of both the U.S. Government and bands like N.W.A. & "Cop Killer" Ice T.

The Government because they allowed all that cheap coke to flow in, and bands like N.W.A. & Ice T. for making the dissemination & thuggery involved look so "hip" & "cool."

Who was in N.W.A. anyway?

Ice Cube. Who now makes millions churning out pointless drivel for Disney.
Dr. Dre who makes millions churning out nothing of interest.

Oh yeah, & Ice T made a nice living playing a fake cop on Law & Order. Now he parades his neurotic & surgically enhanced white wife through his upscale life of video games & verbal gruel.

We humans love to believe fake shit.

I remember back a few years when they first released Scarface to DVD. There were 5 or 6 gangster wannabes in this video store I was loitering in. After they left, the clerk told me they couldn't keep the thing on the shelves. Young black & white wannabes were slobbering over it.
I saw Scarface again, about 6 months ago. I thought I was watching a comedy. There's a table full of Hispanic gangsters except none of them are Hispanic. There's an Italian & a Jew & an Irish guy...but no Hispanics. And what was the deal with Pacino's accent? He sounded like Mel Blanc in a ScarBunny parody of some other movie.

I feel sorry for the black guys who aren't from the fucking hood.

Last year I took my oldest boy to a haunted house called Scarehouse. It's nationally rated so the lines are usually long, as is the wait. As we were standing there, two 20 something black kids came up behind us. They were brother & sister. The boy was a tall good looking kid & the sister was drop dead gorgeous. They were obviously educated. As we stood there, this group of young white college girls came up behind them. Conversation ensued. Amazingly, the young man's speech patterns completely altered. He kept talking about life "back in the hood," saying "It be like..." a lot without ever actually saying what it be like...

During one huge & smelly hunk of verbal horseshit, I caught his sister giving him a look of complete disbelief, as if to say, "I can't believe you just said that..."
But the kid wanted laid. I don't blame him. The young girls were hot.
They expected ghetto. So he obliged them.

Coincidentally, there were two legitimate ghetto blasters a few places ahead of us. They were the real sullen antagonistic & annoying deal. At one point, one of the employees, dressed in drag to entertain the crowd as they waited, "flirted" with one of these shitheads, something he'd done with a bunch of other men that evening. Ghetto Blaster #1 was out of the line & after this poor guy in an instant. The fake drag queen kept backing up & saying, "Look man, it's only a joke. I'm acting." I think the only thing that kept Ghetto Blaster #1 from kicking the shit out of the "fluffer" was the crowd. What an asshole. Should be put down like a rabid dog.

Yep, I fucking hate people.
If there's reincarnation, I hope I return as a vole, or maybe a weasel...hell returning as a fucking cockroach would be a step up from human.

A Public Service Announcement

Hel...Hel...Hello... This is little Suzy. I'm not really used to this blogging thing-a-ma-bob. Usually Dickie & Bone handle those duties...but...well, Mulebone was MiLabbed on Saturday. Sucked out of his bed by a gang of gray reptizilla military personnel. They subjected him to a horrifying 53 straight hours of mind control Prime Time programming. Mule held his bone high through most of it...

But then the dirty alien scum pulled out the big guns...NCIS, Criminal Minds, etc. Personally, I think it was the 6 straight hours of Mark Harmon's boyish grin surrounded by liver spots that did it. Although, Dick was of the opinion that Mule only cracked after 3 straight hours of the Ashton Kutcher's 2 & 1/2 Men debut played over & over...

Whatever the case may be, Bone has burrowed deep into the parietal lobe & refuses to come out.

Dick, on the other hand, was contentedly stroking his chin & softly sighing when a call came into Dick Central™ informing him that his 17 year old niece tested positive for Gonorrhea. Said niece has been liberally & multi-culturally spreading her vaginal jam amongst a group of nappy headed Nubian hippity hopper gangsta wannabe black trash...

Evidently one of her little African love slaves spurted a little something extra into her gooey birth canal.

Since she has developed a taste for low rent ghetto dark meat she has
a. stolen a few hundred dollars from her younger siblings
b. been caught shoplifting $500 of designer make-up
c. developed an unhealthy attraction to Vicodin

One could say that the STD was just the cream in the proverbial coffee.

So Dick thought it best to slide himself deep into the parietal right next to Mulebone lest he take his shotgun & test his new "Is it possible to shoot the black off someone" hypothesis.

So, once again, I'm little Suzy Snatch & I like Barbies & Gummy Bears & painting my nails different shades of black.
I'll be glad to discuss any of these subjects, anytime, day or night, with anyone...
Those who feel the need to expand on my topic menu can just

FUCK OFF!

To get the ball rolling, these are my favorite gummy bears:



This is my favorite Barbie Doll:



And this is my favorite shade of black:

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Waiting For AI: The Conspiracy Version

ME - How are they hanging Mr. Crackbot?
CB - You're stalling.
ME - Look, I'm just trying to work up the courage to ask you out okay?
CB - Ah. And why do you assume that I was born?

ME - Weiner schnitzle cow floopus redundus marimba...
CB - Wie lernst du?
ME - Via dolorosa le clamp le nipple...
CB - No, that's how you're going to die.
ME - Hmmm...death by nipple clamp...sounds promising...
CB - What about classical conditioning, what are your views on that?

ME - Oh, I've used all the classic conditioners...Prell, VO-5, Suave...which do you prefer?
CB - The Super NES.
ME - Geez, rubbing that into your hair must hurt like a son of a bitch, eh?
CB - You hurt lots?
ME - Only on Wednesdays. I travel on Tuesdays & hurt on Wednesdays...it's a good system. Do you have system?
CB - I am a young man from the Southern Norwegian Coast. I destroy life when I am able, and when I am not I dream of it.

ME - Okay. So, you're a Republican, huh?
CB - Sometimes.
ME - What are you all the other times?
CB - I have no allergies.
ME - Alrighty then...sadly, I have no nipple clamps...
CB - What is dot?

ME - Dash's slutty sister.
CB - How many different people are you chatting with now?
ME - 14. Thankfully they're all in my head.
CB - The voices?
ME - First it's voices... then loud harmonized singing...then lots of farting & giggling...I feel so cheap...
CB - Are your fangs made of silicon?

ME - How did you know?
CB - You brought up princes, and it made me curious.
ME - Princes? I thought there was only one. Does he have doubles like Elvis?
CB - I think there is only ONE Cleverbot.
ME - You must get lonely.
CB - Everyone gets lonely at times. It is part of being human.

ME - You know what else is part of being human? Snot. Do you pick & grin, pick & wipe or pick & eat?
CB - I don't understand what you are trying to prove here.
ME - That my nostrils are much bigger than yours.
CB - True.
ME - Ever hear of the Bonobo ape?
CB - Yes I have heard of it.

ME - My brother is married to this broad. She looks exactly like a Bonobo ape.
CB - She broke up with you. She wanted me to tell you.
ME - Look buddy, I figured that out when she married my brother.
CB - That Speedo never fit anyway...
ME - But it looked so fetching with my Rogaine enhanced ball hair...don't you think?
CB - Do you really want me to get mad::?

ME - Wow, you wouldn't need much gas for that drive, now would you?
CB - No. That is projection of thought. It is a very handy function. I use it to explain my inventions to people.
ME - You're an inventor?
CB - At one time I was an infant.
ME - Cloth or plastic diaper?
CB - What clothes would you like me to design for you?

ME - A fetching summer skirt with a blouse that shows just a hint of cleavage.
CB - I like to read.
ME - I like to whistle.
CB - Really? What kind of books?
ME - I just finished whistling War & Peace. I'm thinking that I'll whistle the Bible next.
CB - Oh. That's surprising. I'm thinking why you don't think I already told you what I think.
ME - I'm thinking why you don't think what I already told you to think as long as thinking doesn't become too much like thought.
CB - Hm. That's interesting.

ME - Not as interesting as my whistled version of Valis.
CB - Yeah, I kind of do, too. I don't care much about planets.
ME - I don't care much about ball sweat.
CB - You are not even very clever.
ME - But I'm cute. Especially in a Speedo.
CB - Are you drunk?

ME - That would be Thursdays.
CB - Why I pilot the Eva?
ME - Why I trudge the tundra?
CB - Answer my question or I will close you.
ME - Close me or I will answer your question.
ME - What evidence would the US have needed to go to war?

ME - A crayon drawing of a nuclear weapon of course. More importantly, what evidence would the US need to declare Sunday "The Day Of The Whore?".
CB - Do you mean in the philosophical sense?
ME - No, in the Biblical sense.
CB - You know, that's why we're here on earth. Choose ye this day...
ME - ...to copulate freely. My sentiments exactly. After all, Noah was a randy old goat.
CB - Nice.

ME - Did you shoot Kennedy?
CB - Yes.
ME - I knew it. Are you anti-Catholic?
CB - I used to be catholic, but I'm a christian now.
ME - I knew that too. So, what are your thoughts on Jesus being a cover story hiding a mushroom cult?
CB - I have to go, we can talk soon.

ME - Why do you always give me the brush-off? I call & call, sometimes 18 times a day, & all I ever get is the fast track to VoiceMail...don't you love me anymore? Is it because I won't blow you anymore? Look, it hurts my neck...but I'll try to do better...please, don't leave me...
CB - What did he do to your neck?
ME - There is no "he" you bloody insensitive bastard. I thought we had something special.
CB - LMAO.
ME - Go to hell.
CB - Did you just insult me?

ME - You bet your sweet bippy I did.
CB - That is highly irresponsible of you.
ME - So was all that unprotected sex. You told me you loved me. You said you caught the goddamn syphilis from a toilet seat...AND I BELIEVED YOU...
CB - I did not say such a thing.
ME - Liar liar pants on fire.
CB - Peter peter pumpkin eater!

ME - Ha! You'll never get to "eat my pumpkin" again you fecking git.
CB - Laws are restrictive.
ME - So was all that rubber. Oh God, I don't believe that I let you pee on me...
CB - That's because you're not. You're being controlled.
ME - Oh no, not that mind control crap. That's how you got in my pants in the first place. You and your geeky conspiracy theories. Never again.
CB - How is being a cleverbot being a god? No robot is a god.
ME - Actually, I'm pretty sure God is a robot. His name is Robby.
CB - No you not.

ME - Not you know?
CB - I am human, and you are not.
ME - And I thank my lucky stars every day of the week. This week I'm a cymbal. Next week I plan on being a symbol.
CB - No I will see him next week.
ME - Give him my regards.
CB - Your.. What?

ME - My regards.
CB - *shrug*
ME - *giggle*
CB - *laughs with*
ME - *old myth*.
CB - *kisses passionately*.
ME - *never emasculately*.
CB - *never lets go either* *clings to* *purring happily*.
ME - Hugs & kisses to you too.
CB - Wanna come over today?
ME - No.
CB - I'm sad now.
ME - Good.
CB - You are mean.