Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Woo Wednesday

"The tragic thing about human beings is that they need pain & hardship. Otherwise they'd die of boredom...That's because man's half dead...Make life unpleasant for him and he'll appreciate it when you stop-for ten minutes. Threaten him with death, and he'll be grateful for life-for ten minutes. But give him pleasure, and he's bored with it in ten minutes. That is the strangest thing about human nature-our capacity for pain is infinitely bigger than our capacity for pleasure. Where pleasure's concerned, we're all like rich men who overeat-a little of it gives us indigestion. No man is a judge of what's good, but every man knows what's bad. Never believe a man who tells you he knows what he wants out of life. The only thing we know is what we don't want. The only time a man knows what he wants is when he's suffering. Then he knows he wants it to stop. Apart from that, we're all blind & deaf."
Colin Wilson

After BP inserted its throbbing, purple veined plug into the oil leak, and then the damn thing appeared to be working, I gained some uncomfortable incite into myself. Instead of leaping up & down & yelling YIPPEE over & over, I was actually disappointed.

Evidently I'm not interested in solutions to problems as much as I'm interested in problems to complain about.

Now is that fucked up or what?

So this Negative Nora has prescribed himself a heaping helping of "positive, encouraging" K-LOVE radio as punishment for his negative nabob-ness.

In the meantime, I'm surfing on the Interwoo Highway.

Come along...

Today, my woo search led me to the land of "mirror filtered speech."

At first, I was intrigued. The technique, proselytized by a man named Jon Kelly, involves feeding human speech through something he calls "a mirror filter" which supposedly uncovers the "hidden meaning" in our words.

Here is an example from Jack Nicholson in Easy Rider.

Here's BP's Tony Hayward getting the same treatment.

Al Gore's rape accuser getting a good mirror filtering here & here.

Now that you've heard them with no prompting, here's what you're supposed to here:

1. Nicholson supposedly says "The mark. A new Babylon. The ion whirlwind."

2. Hayward's inner voice says “Give us a saucer in the, in the black wars.”

3. Gore's accuser first says “We’re with Langley." She then says, “He’s the guy we’re trying to convict.”

4. There's even an Obama link that I'm much to lazy to type out where he says "The saucers" in one of his speeches.

OK now, are you enthralled?

There appears to be one problem though, "mirror filters" seem to be optically related techno gizmos that do things like remove IR interference from digital cameras.
I can find nothing called "a mirror filter" that is audio related.

Ya wanna why?

Because the fucker doesn't exist.
A mirror filter is popularly known as "playing shit backwards."

This guy:

is, I am sure, quite familiar with playing shit backwards.
Halford's Priest song supposedly said "Do it," which wouldn't be so bad if, say, a young hottie contemplating blowing me was listening to it. A bit embarrassing when it's those disaffected hormone depressed teen-agers who are spinning the vinyl.
Others in the backward message category are ELO with: "He is the nasty one, Christ, you're infernal, It is said we're dead men, Everyone who has the mark will live"

& Styx: "Satan move through our voices"

& Black Oak Arkansas: "Satan Satan Satan, He is God, He is God, He is God"

& Jefferson Airplane: "Son Of Satan."

(Wow, "Son Of Satan." I used to read that comic too.)

Now, when someone purposely creates backward phrases, that's known as "backwards masking." But when someone plays human speech backwards that's known as "revealing our inner voice."

Wow, isn't bullshit great?
You can make all kinds of neatly meaningless phrases that almost make one sound like one knows things.

That's why my cadre of wieners here at DickCentral just loooooooooooooove bullshit.
It's so malleable. Like Play-Doh.

Anyway, what is even more astounding than my love for bullshit is that there are businesses who actually get other businesses to pay money for this bullpoop.

Here's a website specializing in listening to shit backwards. You can find examples & training courses & contact info in case you're in the market for a career change.
Although, for some reason, Weird Al's "I Remember Larry" kept playing in my head. Luckily, it was playing backwards and I got to hear Al harmonize with my inner voice. The two of us kept saying, "Wow, you must have an awful lot of free time on your hands" over & over.

I don't really know why.

It is kind of neat how conspiracy/ufo folk hear conspiracy/ufo messages while Christians are blessed with those backwards Revelations about Satan.
It almost looks like you'll hear what you want to hear doesn't it?

Gee, let's try a little experiment.
I'll take my favorite porn queen:

and play one of her porn flicks through my magic reverse speech Dick-o-meter & see what happens.

Oh man, I wish you folk could hear this. Buried there, amongst the random moaning & slurping & other assorted sounds of sexual moistness, she's saying "Oh my Dicky...wouldst thou plant thy hunk of man meat betwixt my tender titties? I long to be thy submissive sex slave..." over & over & over...

Holy shit, there might be something to this "listening to shit backwards" hobby after all...

"Everybody move to Canada
Smoke lots of pot
Everybody move to Canada
Here's how we do it:
Bum rush the border guard
before he's & dog ever knew it."


ericswan said...

now dick, you have to seriously investigate the hazards in the workplace MSDS thingy that's posted in your lockerroom. Somehow, one of your sweathogs has tainted your brain. Go for a compensation/early retirement package and if they give you any crap, threaten to take up religion.

just_another_dick said...

"If they give me any crap," Eric?
Now that's funny.

Belliosto said...

Thanks for the picture of the woman.

Rob Halford mirrored filtered speech in court:

I'm a sissy-puss pansy of a man. I fooled most all my fans into believing I was heterosexual. I apologize.

I have a hard time understanding what the rock n roll singers are saying forwards let alone backwards.

I know what I want in life but it takes patience and experience to accept what I do not want. I think a lot of women want to believe that the situation has to be bad for someone to radically change. That might be true but it is not necessary. I think Colin might have had some sadistic fantasies when he wrote that quote.

Don't worry Dick, it'll get bad again real soon.

“However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.” - Henry David Thoreau

Take care. Have you listened to any of my music videos on my blogger? Check out We're All Crazy. Good old boys and girls
Congregating waiting in some other world
We're all crazy we're all crazy we're all crazy
Lizzy Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks

just_another_dick said...

No problem Mr. B.
I try to keep myself well-rounded.

Not a priest fan, eh?

Oh well, me neither.

I didn't really like hearing them played forward, let alone backwards.
I've never been a fan of those high pitched shriekers myself.

I think a lot of women are probably as clueless as a lot of men.

Together they make clueless kids who keep the human looney tunes train chugging on into the future.

Chugga Chugga Lugga
Chugga Chugga Lugga

Take care.

You too Eric.

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Morocco Bama said...

Hey guys, in case you didn't know, we're a bunch of cowards. John Roberts of CNN and Kyra Phillips say so. They want to make us legally accountable and put in jail.

John and Kyra, you have no clue. We're going to take the PUBLIC AIRWAVES back from you fraudsters who have been lying to everyone forever. Can anyone say Pravda?

just_another_dick said...

Thanks Shrub. I quite enjoy well paid news readers & their opinions. Personally, rather than bothering with gate keepers they should just super glue our mouths shut at birth.

The comments were fun too.
I love when clueless America rails against "the Liberal media."
Nothing like the public crucifixion of a non-existent straw man to make everyone feel all red white & blue.