More Well Spent Tax Dollars

WASHINGTON - The U.S. Secret Service is reportedly investigating faded '70s rock star Ted Nugent for his recent insistence he'll be "dead or in jail" in a year's time if President Barack Obama is re-elected in November.

At a convention of the National Rifle Association over the weekend, the longtime gun advocate compared Obama and the Democrats to a coyote who should be shot.

"It isn't the enemy that ruined America," he said as he reaffirmed his endorsement of Republican front-runner Mitt Romney.

"It's good people who bent over and let the enemy in. If the coyote's in your living room pissing on your couch, it's not the coyote's fault. It's your fault for not shooting him."

He accused the Obama administration of being "evil" and "America-hating."

"If Barack Obama becomes the president in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year," he said angrily. "We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November."

He then told his audience of proud gun-owners that if they failed to "clean house in this vile, evil, America-hating administration, I don't even know what you're made out of."

The Secret Service says it's aware of the weekend remarks and is looking into them.

Honestly, this is fucking great. Little Teddy Bear is quite obviously a douche of the highest caliber. He dodges his war, makes a barrel full of money while many of his peers become mental & physical cannon fodder, then he develops a streak of red white & blue patriotism wide enough to choke Rush Limbaugh.

What a fucking hoot!

I thought my irony meter broke when I read a few enviro liberals cry that Dr. Seuss's The Lorax was being whored out to corporate America, and their precious tree guardian was now no longer pure. I found it ironic because their childhood hero created a tree guardian named the Lorax & then proceeded to tell its story on a bunch of dead trees.

Now here's the original "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang," Teddy Bear the Draft Dodger, goosing my meter by throwing the ephemeral weight of his massive hot air inflated ego behind Mitt "The Android" Romney's campaign, espousing oodles of love for the Constitution and Soldier Boys.

To top it off, the Secret Service, looking for something to do that doesn't involve Columbian hookers, appears to be taking Teddy Bear seriously.

Jesus, Ted is only a bad ass when there's a fucking raccoon on the other end of his gun site. He's about as revolutionary as that redundant crap he peddles under the guise of music.

Still, the thought of Teddy Bear behind bars does have a certain charm to it.

One can hope...