Monday, August 23, 2010

Don't Bicker, Just Laugh

This new TV show was being pushed quite heavily this weekend.



I was a bit taken aback at first, but I suppose I shouldn't be so naive.

I'm envisioning at least 2 spin off possibilities that should give ample opportunity for much guffawing & tittering.

1. Unemployed: Where we follow the wacky adventures of a formerly well paid middle manager as he navigates the maze of unemployment benefits while growing accustomed to life as a McD's drive thru server.

2. Homeless: Which follows the same middle manager's descent into humor Hell. The season opener will show him as the pressure of dissolution causes him to snap and he begins delivering violent anti-corporate tirades through the soap box of his drive thru microphone.

Customer: "Hi. Yeah, I'd like a double cheeseburger, fries, a large shake and..."

Our hero: "Fuck you."

Customer; "Excuse me, it sounded like you said fu..."

Our hero: "You heard me you capitalist shill feeding at the bloated tittie of a dysfunctional & unsustainable society, shoveling masses of cheap flavored gristle into your voracious maw. You & your tubby overfed belly is little more than a metaphor for our tubby overfed society."

Customer: "Look buddy, I just want a cheesebur..."

Our hero: "Want, want, want, that's all you motherfuckers have are more & more wants, isn't it? You sicken me, you pus filled wanker. I'll give you a goddamn cheeseburger. Just give me a minute to scrape some of my ass cheese onto your burger, and I'll be out to ram it down your piggly wiggly American throat...."

The manager: "Bob, what are you doing with that cheeseburger, & why are your pants down?"

Our hero: "Fuck off ya little turd. I have a cheeseburger to deliver to little Mr. whiner-boy. Then I've got something special for you ya pussified little punk. As a matter of fact I have a whole clip of special somethings for you...."

Our hero exits.

The manager: "Helen, call the police. Bob is being a very very very bad boy."

Our hero, brandishing a 9 mm & a skid mark encrusted hamburger, approaches his customer.

Our hero: "C'mere bitch. It's time to put your feed bag on."

At this point, 4 police cruisers enter lot &, after more guffaw inducing banter, Bob is dutifully tazered & bustled off to the nearest mental ward.
Bob's physical twitching & high pitched keening wail is found to be a particular audience favorite which finds a permanent home on UTube.

Bob's stay in Ward 9 is mercifully cut short due to his utter lack of medical insurance, and the public health system's utter lack of funding.

Subsequent episodes follow him as he wanders the streets muttering unintelligible harangues at passers-by while weeing in his pants or digging half rotted food out of dumpster bins.
Eventually, Bob is reduced to such a state of laugh inducing despair that he wanders in front of an approaching semi, and is crushed under its wheels.
The logo on the truck's side is, quite amusingly, the same as Bob's old company.
When this is shown the studio audience laughs until they wet themselves en masse.

47 comments:

Morocco Bama said...

Holy Fucking Shit!!! See, Richard, the Take The Cake game is fun, isn't it? I do believe we have reached the Singularity of Hilarity meaning that satire no longer has any value because reality is now a satire....they're one and the same.

What's next, a sitcom about Chinese Workers doing high dives off ten story dorm buildings into the cement pond below known as the parking lot? How about a sitcom about abducted children turned into sex slaves? The possibilities are endless, doncha think?

Loved your idea, Richard. Very creative....it reminded me of American Beauty but even more twisted. You should approach Disney.....I'm not joking, you should really approach Disney.....or Fox...Fox loves to push envelopes like that. Married With Children, anyone, on that wholesome, conservative Fox channel.

I apologize in advance if this post is a distraction. I'm only doing what I've been programmed to do. You can't blame a guy for that, can you?

just_another_dick said...

Y'know what I like about you Shrub?
You can have a heated moment, say your piece, then move on.

I spent a day or so thinking that we've hit rock bottom with this one. Turning the economic destruction of large numbers of people into a hipster sitcom featuring a few current hipster comedic actors has to be the epitome of desensitization.

Then I remembered Hogan's Heroes & realized it was just business as usual.

& Shrub, since you had some very definite thoughts on racism, did that clip seem racist in the fucking extreme, or am I hallucinating again?

By the way, if I didn't like typing at you, I wouldn't do it. So, distract away. I didn't want to alienate Eric by pointing out that there isn't, nor has there ever been, "a topic."

Morocco Bama said...

& Shrub, since you had some very definite thoughts on racism, did that clip seem racist in the fucking extreme, or am I hallucinating again?

You're not hallucinating. It was over-the-top. Good point about Hogan's Heroes....but, then again, the Nazis were fair game for stereotypical smack-downs....to the victors go the spoils, so they say.

Morocco Bama said...

Richard, we might want to be careful with what we say from here on out.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2012704841_netsuits24.html

The Internet has allowed tens of millions of Americans to be published writers. But it also has led to a surge in lawsuits from those who say they were hurt, defamed or threatened by what they read, according to groups that track media lawsuits.....The Supreme Court has said the First Amendment's protection for freedom of speech includes the right to publish "anonymous" pamphlets. But judges have been saying that online speakers do not always have a right to remain anonymous.

I particularly love this gem. That's right, they freely say what's on their mind before the coercive forces of totalitarian indoctrination knocks it out of them.

He is particularly concerned about teenagers and what they post online. "Teenagers do what you might expect: They say things they shouldn't say. They do stupid things," he said. "We don't have a legal standard for defamation that excuses kids."

ericswan said...

I didn't see the racism in it and the humour was sketchy. Your typing it didn't make it real but the fact is, it is real. I work graveyard and have done so for more than a decade. Just last night we had a homeless dude hanging out at the door with a little sign and looking like he might eat your mollified cat. So we sent him packing. Depresses the clientelle you know. Anyway, he was moving right along about a half hour later and when I saw him I said that this is for you and offered to throw some coin at him. He told me he wasn't doing a dog and pony show and wouldn't take the money. I said that I was sorry to have disturbed his insanity and headed in for me shift. For some reason, your post resonates this experience for me. I've been homeless but at least I had a beater to sleep in. This guy is down to a shopping cart. There is no way up, down or sideways from this situation. I have the impression this guy was "gang stalked" and didn't realize what that is or what had happened to him.

The Chinese guy working out in the fields knows that the food he is growing for you and me was grown in human waste. The proverb that goes with that is "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"

Richard..I wouldn't be here if I didn't think you have a gift. Human toilet paper is exactly what makes your point of view interesting.

Morocco Bama said...

Not racist by your own personal standards, Eric. Racist by conventional, politically correct standards. People get fired and reprimanded for such things everyday, yet using the logic of conventional standards, this droll offering can sail into your living room, if you have one, unimpeached.

just_another_dick said...

Shrub, I saw that article over at RI. Am I mistaken, or did they think that was a good "anti-troll" device?

What is it with forum folk and their "troll obsession?"

Trolls have feelings too.

They also seem to have problems with "troll hijacked threads" where "the troll" forces them "off topic."

RI isn't alone in this, it seems to be everywhere on the InterCrapper.

Do they find any deviation from carefully proscribed parameters equally annoying?

Are these the same people who feel compelled to follow their GPS instructions even though that GPS suggested right turn takes them into a lake?

Did you see this one?

http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/08/25/1790970/gulf-waste-heads-to-landfills.html

"The cleanup of history's worst peacetime oil spill is generating thousands of tons of oil-soaked debris that is ending up in local landfills, some of which were already dealing with environmental concerns.

"The soft, absorbent boom that has played the biggest role in containing the spill alone would measure more than twice the length of California's coastline, or about 2,000 miles. More than 50,000 tons of boom and oily debris have made their way to landfills or incinerators, federal officials told The Associated Press, representing about 7 percent of the daily volume going to nine area landfills.

"A month after the oil stopped flowing into the Gulf, the emphasis has shifted toward cleanup and disposal of oily trash at government-approved landfills in coastal states.

Environmental Protection Agency officials say the sites meet federal regulations, are equipped to handle the influx of waste and are being monitored closely, although three sites have state environmental issues. State records show two are under investigation and one was cited in May for polluting nearby waters."



I also enjoyed the Japanese politicians remark about how "Americans are monocellular" and "simpleminded."

What a hoot.

Eric, while I appreciate the sentiment, this bit:

"Human toilet paper is exactly what makes your point of view interesting."

made me chuckle.

The possibilities for visual humor alone are legion.

Morocco Bama said...

Like you, I took note that the thread in question at RI quickly devolved into a discussion of trolls and trolling. That term really has no meaning for me....it means anybody with whom they disagree.

What's ironic is that none of them, and I mean none of them, can stay on topic, yet they complain about it constantly. Why are they so afraid of thought experiments, and the free-flow of consciousness and ideas? Take a topic and let it blossom into whatever. You do that here and I love it....it's pure anarchy....and there's some beautifully natural order that rises from the chaos of our comments.

Many of them over there are a bunch of anal retentive aspergerians, so it's not surprising that they don't like their little bubbles burst by anybody but themselves.

Morocco Bama said...

These fellas took it to the extreme.

http://www.break.com/pictures/human-toilet-paper70758.html

ericswan said...

Truth and freedom is not what is needed. As long as you know it's just a game or even better, if you are so self absorbed then it doesn't matter that your POV is from under the bus, then the only thing left is fun.
That's where we are now and it's the storytellers extolling the virtues of their view that get my attention and my respect.
Here's a list.
These are the guys armed to the teeth with no fun guns.











Let me apologize here and now if that doesn't fit your paradigm.

just_another_dick said...

The funny thing about that photo Shrub, at least to me, is the indisputable fact that, while some see that as funny, others would pay good money to do that or have it done to them.

I guess what mystifies me the most about trollaphobic behavior is the trollaphobes inability to walk away from inflammatory posts that offend their sensibilities.
Seriously, it's just a fucking block of text.
It's not like the guys standing next to you, frothing at the mouth, raining spittle down on your delicately maintained world view

Or do these people really believe that folk who say shit like:

"Y'know what? Niggers smell and liberals should join those stinking Jew boys in a fucking oven,"

will read a carefully crafted, point by point rebuttal, and, as a light bulb pings on over their head, will post back,

"My God, I was such a fool. Thank you(sniffle}, oh thank you{sniffle, sniffle} for pulling me back from the brink. I was sooooooooooo wrong."



& Eric, that was fucking awesome.

I've read those same authors and concur.

Theirs is the wisdom that will save us.

And if I still drank, I'd raise one for ya for this bit:

"...if you are so self absorbed then it doesn't matter that your POV is from under the bus, then the only thing left is fun."

Morocco Bama said...

You're right, Eric. I think it's great fun when you call Richard a gatekeeper. Gives me a hearty belly laugh.

Laughing in the face of human tragedy has its value. I use it to vent frustration at my own impotence, but beyond that it serves no real purpose. In fact, it can be argued that it merely serves to perpetuate the tragedy. Nihilists are often not the nihilists when you get right down to it. They always hold something out as valuable, even if it valuelessness.

I regards to human tragedy (and let's face it, wasted human potential manifesting as zealous stupidity is human tragedy, considering its implications) as humor, Colbert and Stewart come to mind. I've watched maybe 5 episodes of both combined, and pardon me, but I don't find them funny. The shtick is worn out, old and crusty. Curb Your Enthusiasm and Larry David trump it, hands down, because the whole gambit of human behavior is fair game for his plots and his material is, for the most part, apolitical, and non-ideological.

I will ask you this. What does your post have to do with trolling, or does it? As Richard has mentioned, and I concur, you are often cryptic and your last post was rather cryptic to me. Can you clarify? I'm not asking you to stay on topic, I just want to understand what you're trying to convey.

Morocco Bama said...

For example, this was priceless. It's fantastic, even if it is out of context.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTmHS-T5dLA

I can relate to it, because I do the very same thing. It's absolutely cathartic to release like this. If you haven't tried it, you should. It feels great, so to do it en masse in a formal setting to mitigate the tension of such a highly anticipated moment would be better than any drug I can think of. We need more of it.

Morocco Bama said...

Speaking of self-absorbed, this guy takes the cake. He's now censoring my posts because I was apparently to inconvenient for him. I found his website from one of the do-gooders over at RI that finds him inspirational. At first glance he appears legit, but when you peel away the layers, you quickly realize what a little, self-absorbed, insecure deceit he really is.

http://activistteacher.blogspot.com/

I'm sure by his standards, I'm a troll, and by others standards, he's a troll, and so trolls have no damn meaning beyond someone whose tactics and views are disagreeable. I hate the fucking term and anyone who uses it religiously to marginalize is nothing more than troll.

ericswan said...

It's my journalism training at the foot (literally) of Marshall McLuhan. Just practicing my jingoisms. Lots of dwarf tossing but not a word from the man on the street.

What's really got my necktie in a not is Belliosto's comments of recent. I'm actually starting to grasp what it was he just said. Kinda scary but I'll get over it.

Morocco Bama said...

too

Morocco Bama said...

Thanks for the clarification, Eric. I will perceive your posts like I do Dali's Atomic Mysticism. My interpretation of the infinite messages, all of which are purely unintentional (the messages, that is), are merely projections of my life experiences and perspectives up to the point of observation....or reading.

It does beg that ever so famous question, if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Morocco Bama said...

Richard, if you still drank, your neighbors would be dead and you would be typing to us behind bars.

How about we have a JAD BBQ get together in Richard's back yard? We can celebrate 9/11. Richard can provide the grass clippings and I'll mix us some drinks, we can talk about algae and retards and Belliosto can blow my fucking head off with a twelve gauge.

Bigfoot said...

I'll bring the tossed dwarf salad to accompany the Moroccan barbecued brains.

Bigfoot said...

We could pop over to Bohemian Grove after dinner and sit under the owl and chew on MB's pineal gland?

Morocco Bama said...

BF, I don't think there will be enough of that delicacy to feed everyone. It will have to be a multiple course affair. Maybe we can drink our piss and eat our shit...afterall, it's organic...just like coal and oil, so it must be good for us.

I think I found another interpretation of that Human Toilet Paper video I posited earlier. Maybe this was what was going on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEhk5N32Tec&feature=related

Morocco Bama said...

We could pop over to Bohemian Grove after dinner and sit under the owl and chew on MB's pineal gland?

I'm game....but only if you dress up as women first.....and we invite Alex Jones, Terence McKenna, David Icke and Ratzinger....we can discuss the NWO whilst you chew my cud.

Morocco Bama said...

And while you're chewing, you can play this whilst Ratzinger spreads incense and Icke flaunts his Lizard collection. Jones, using his pet bullhorn, adorned in wig, fake boobs and lipstick, can shout "Bitter" intermittently as the tears roll down our faces and we cry out for connection to anyone...anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBxRp3pqwgo

ericswan said...

That would be finger lickin' good but I don't appreciate the racist innyourendo. (There was something anti-semitic in that commment right)?

Nicoloff and Adachi are reporting that 3 of the 4 lizard queens can no longer procreate even with the human genome right at their beak and claws. Apparently, their numbers of pure breed are down to 2,000 and the pressure is building to take out billions of us with the help of their hybrid Rothchild millions and billions and minions.

Morocco Bama said...

Y'know what I like about you Shrub?
You can have a heated moment, say your piece, then move on.


It's matter of simian survival, Richard. A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss takes on a whole new meaning these days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWgL6LJAcuQ&feature=related

Left Behind also takes on a whole new meaning. Maybe LaHaye's series was really code for the Technocalpys just as The Wizard of Oz was code.

Morocco Bama said...

Since when do lizards have beaks?

Morocco Bama said...

You know, Mothers are smart. Admit it, they are. You know, like when Mothers hound their children about making sure they have clean underwear. My mother never did, she was too busy abusing prescription drugs, but popular sentiment is that Mothers do, and that's what counts. They're not just saying that for no damn reason at all. There are many reasons you should have clean underwear besides perpetually being prepared for a hygienically sound spontaneous anal encounter. Here's the latest reason:

http://blogs.forbes.com/andygreenberg/2010/08/24/full-body-scan-technology-deployed-in-street-roving-vans/

American Science & Engineering, a company based in Billerica, Massachusetts, has sold U.S. and foreign government agencies more than 500 backscatter x-ray scanners mounted in vans that can be driven past neighboring vehicles to see their contents, Joe Reiss, a vice president of marketing at the company told me in an interview. While the biggest buyer of AS&E’s machines over the last seven years has been the Department of Defense operations in Afghanistan and Iraq, Reiss says law enforcement agencies have also deployed the vans to search for vehicle-based bombs in the U.S........

The Z Backscatter Vans, or ZBVs, as the company calls them, bounce a narrow stream of x-rays off and through nearby objects, and read which ones come back. Absorbed rays indicate dense material such as steel. Scattered rays indicate less-dense objects that can include explosives, drugs, or human bodies. That capability makes them powerful tools for security, law enforcement, and border control.


The skid mark patrol is coming to a neighborhood near you....in fact, it may already be there.

ericswan said...

I thought everybody knew that birds evolved from dinosaurs.
Anyone here ever read Adam Trombly?

Morocco Bama said...

Speaking of anti-semitism, here's a doozie of a propaganda film from Goebbels and Nazi Germany (is that redundant?). It was created at Goebbels' behest by Stanley Kubrick's wife's Uncle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XqZEsfXb4w

It's broken into ten parts, so if you find the time, take a gander.

M said...

What were dinosaurs evolved from?

Morocco Bama said...

And speaking of human toilet paper and having a clean ass, thanks to the makers of Charmin, there's no need to worry anymore about those pesky bits and pieces. Get Charmin today, and assure yourself of a clean scan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBNcQgkXEWE

Come to think of it, why bother with chopping down trees for this task. We can put the throngs of unemployed to work cleaning other people's asses......afterall, isn't that what they were doing before they lost their jobs, so they have had plenty of practice. They're already thoroughly trained. Let's make it a Government program.

Morocco Bama said...

a

Morocco Bama said...

Here's some graphic footage of a Hit & Run. It's not for the faint of heart. Now, roll that wonderful bean footage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBNcQgkXEWE

Morocco Swan said...

Sorry, wrong link. Here it is. Make sure you crank the volume.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QFpUZ-hFbA&feature=related

ericswan said...

Ummmm...where was I?

Oh yeah...where do dinosaurs come from?

It just so happens I'm an amateur paleontologist. Spent many many years in the field and pretty much have seen every age of evolution there is to see.

The oldest fossil bed I ever attended was half way up a mountain. It's one of those world heritage sites in British Columbia on Mount Stephen. The fossils there are 350 million years old give or take with the most famous trilobites found on the planet. (so far). Now, Shrub, I don't know how you are going to take this but please don't take it wrong. There are plants growing on the side of Mt. Stephen that look just like a trilobite. It doesn't go creepy crawly on you but something eery is going on there. Just sayin...

Morocco Bama said...

Eric, why would I take it wrong? I am not some sort of staunch defender of the religion known as science. When the scientific clergy start theorizing about the existence and structure of life hundreds of millions of years prior, the theories become extremely tenuous. I'm not making a case for Creationism, by any means, but I am also not going to just blindly believe whatever they put forth, especially when you consider that as we approach the Singularity, and additional information pours in, these outlandish theories can be vaporized into the ether from whence they came.

What is it that served as the catalyst....that enticed single-celled organisms to join in union with one another into complex organisms and rise from the primordial soup to wander the earth and eventually the cosmos from whence they came? One theory I have is one our friend Drew from RI would cum in his pants over. Music.

Morocco Bama said...

Oh, and as you surmised, they have now located older trilobite fossil records....in Portugal. 450 million years old, to be precise. They congregated in substantial social circles and reached the size of three feet (35 inches). Imagine finding one of those bastards crawling on your counter at 2am when you stumble out of bed into the kitchen and turn on the light to get a glass of water. I know I would shit my pants.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/05/090505072714.htm

ericswan said...

http://www.prahlad.org/pub/bearden/scalar_wars.htm

Just in case you really care...

Morocco Bama said...

http://www.bariumblues.com/bearden_disinformation.htm

Just in case you really care...

Morocco Bama said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_dnE0KODsE&feature=player_embedded#!

Just in case you really care...

ericswan said...

It's curious how links to a google youtube can copy two lines but links to the other two docs cannot.

Figboot said...

Morocco, the Glenn Beck restoring America rally tube filled my heart with Posilac, and restored my faith in cheese whiz. Peace, love & white phosphorous, -bf

Figboot said...

"Think about it, you have Bearden who has (supposedly) already invented an "over unity" device, Craddock, who has solicited for funding for his own version of an "over unity" device, One oil company (Pacific Oil), and Craddock Engineering (a Petroleum People Company), as well as Dr. Greer and his CSETI and Disclosure projects all going back to this one beachfront house in Santa Barbara." -soulcore, from a thread at Chemtrail Central.

Sounds like a jolly interesting place that beach house at 151 La Jolla Drive, Santa Barbara. All registered to the same address....
Probably moved by now though, maybe to Mulholland Drive?

Morocco Bama said...

Fig, that Beck video had a similar effect on me. My tits starting squirting gallons of milk as I watched that video, and I'm a male the last time I looked....it was that powerful....powerful enough to make a healthy grown man lactate.

Morocco Bama said...

Probably moved by now though, maybe to Mulholland Drive?

Lynched? If only we could be so lucky.

Morocco Bama said...

Fig, in the Beck video, check out the sunglassed security prick behind him. He's obviously Beck's security because of the aviator glasses, the ear piece and he's consistently scanning the crowd. I don't remember seeing that kind of security when MLK was giving his famous I Have A Dream Speech. MLK didn't get security....he got german shepherds and jail time. Why does Glenn need security? Seriously, it's not like he's any kind of a threat to the establishment, quite the contrary, he's one of the establishment's well paid stooges, so whose going to shoot him?

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