Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A Cautionary Tale

This is McKenna. Cute as a button, right? Sadly, poor McKenna has seen her share of tragedy. After both her parents were decapitated in a freak chainsaw sculpting accident at the first Green Man festival in 2003, McKenna was sent off to the American Girl Orphanage. The AGO, popularly known amongst conspiracy theorists as "Girls Town," apparently took many liberties with the normal screening process as they vetted new parents for their charges.

Little McKenna was sent to live with an itinerant preacher & his family in Little Rock, Arkansas. After acclimating herself to her new home, McKenna & her new step sister, Sarah, became inseparable. Together they encouraged hours of imagination and play in each other—from dreaming up adventures to styling hair to sharing every little secret.

Every little secret that is, except one...

At night, McKenna's new father would sneak into her room & do unspeakable things to her.

At first McKenna tried to tell Sarah about their father. But Sarah loved her father so, and McKenna couldn't bear to break her new sister's heart.

So she learned to sublimate the pain, shearing her McKenna personality off into a little mental box while her stepfather had his way with her.

For 5 long years McKenna kept up this front of smiles for her friend, but one day, her stepsister mysteriously stopped talking to her. That night, McKenna overheard Sarah telling her parents that she "was too old" for McKenna.

McKenna was heartbroken.

Eventually Sarah left for college, & McKenna's stepparents tossed her out of the house like so much trash.
Wandering the streets of Little Rock at 2 A.M., McKenna was approached by a man in an SUV who offered her money to do certain things on camera.
Broke, hungry & alone, McKenna accepted.

This began McKenna's sordid descent into a world of pornography, prostitution and drug abuse, culminating with the obligatory breast enhancement & eventual foray into machine sex, BDSM & swirly videos that are the destination of most young female sex workers as their youthful gleam fades & their internal scarring solidifies.

Just last week we heard that poor McKenna had developed a nasty meth addiction & was selling herself to video game geeks & comic book nerds to support her habit.

In conclusion, I urge you to say a prayer for poor McKenna.
May her days of objectification & bondage end sooner rather than later.

Thank You.


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