Sunday, March 3, 2013

My oldest son got to experience his first school shooter lockdown last week.


21st century America is soooooooooo fucking cool. Each day is a potential foray into an action flick. Luckily it was a false alarm.

Maybe we can convince Steven Seagal & his millions of hours of weapons training to journey  here for a little posse forming.

I also think the whole "lockdown" plan is utterly brilliant. First you lock the shooter in with the kids. Then you lock the kids in their classrooms behind doors with big fucking glass windows in them.

From what I understand, primarily from the voices in my head, glass is an excellent bullet repellant.

I bet you didn't know that.
A student's outgoing voice mail message quoting the theme to "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" led to a school lockdown in Ambridge, Pa.
The Times Online in Beaver, Pa., explains what happened. A receptionist from a doctor's office called to remind student Travis Clawson about an upcoming appointment. Clawson didn't pick up, so the call went to voice mail.
The receptionist heard what sounded like a threat about "shooting" and "school" on Clawson's outgoing message. Apparently, the message was intended to quote a lyric from the Will Smith sitcom's theme song that goes, "And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school." It's unclear if the receptionist misheard Clawson's message or if the student altered the lyrics.
The receptionist notified police, who notified school officials, who instituted a lockdown on every school in the county. After 20 frantic minutes, authorities located Clawson in the high school's guidance counselor's office.
Police took him into custody and interviewed him. It was then that Clawson explained his message was just a riff on the popular '90s sitcom about a young Philadelphia man who goes to live with his "auntie and uncle in Bel Air." According to Times Online, District Attorney Anthony Berosh said that after listening to the message closely it was determined that it did follow the Quincy Jones-penned song. Clawson was released and no charges were filed.
No word on whether he said "Smell ya later" upon being cleared.


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Look, I'm's my personal shame...I...I suffer from premature posting.

I've tried to prolong my posting with all manner of topical creams, ointments & lotions, I've even gone as far as thinking of truckloads of dead babies while I post...but nothing seems to work.

Please don't leave me...

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belliosto's garbage said...

Dick, welcome to Detroit! Volney's Ruins in contemporary civilization. The premiere middle class city of the world fallen into destruction within a lifetime! School shootings, marshmallow roasts over open flames of gutted homes on fire, mindless rapings of little neighborhood girls, old women thrown down and assaulted for their 40 year old purses, oh and all the gang-related serial killings and non gang-related too. To dial 911 is to get a busy signal.

Detroit the shit hole of the world...

ericswan said...

the only trauma i engramed was being beaten by my many psychopathic teachers. kids these days must have it tough.

just_another_dick said...

Mr. B., sounds like fun. Actually, it sounds like a every Steven Seagal movie ever made.

Who needs a middle class. The middle class is like the cream in an Oreo.
Artificially constructed & irrelevant.

Please, don't tell me you're a cream loving cookie hater.

Creamists are the worst. A pogrom would be gentler than they deserve.

Anyhow, it appears that everything needs a shit hole. In my experience, once the shit stops, the body's demise ain't far behind.

Get it?

Nyuk Nyuk

Behind...shit hole...

Oh man, sometimes I just fucking slay myself

Then I tweet about it

then I forum

then I Crackbook.

Occasionally I combine the lot & just tweet on my Crackbook Forum.

I'm so fucking popular I've become completely invisible & anonymous...

It's sooooooooooo cool...

belly something said...

Well, I killed two people. There I said it. I'm not going into details for obvious reasons. It was alright. Kind of anticlimactic.

As for kids having it tough today Ericswan, life being so difficult for me in high school was the reason why I started smoking pot on a regular basis. So there's always some kind of illumination at the end of a wormhole. Whether it is in the dirt or in outer space. ha

just_another_dick said...

Well, ya know what I say?

2 less carbon footprints to worry about.

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