Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Political Science Yahoo Style

From Yahoo:

Voters still getting to know Santorum

Search trends show voters still don't know that much about the former U.S. senator.

On Super Tuesday, Yahoo! Search trends suggested that voters are still generally less familiar with Rick Santorum than with Mitt Romney.

So we've finally sunk to the bottom, eh?
Yahoo is using "search trends" as a barometer?
Are they kidding?
The Internet is an amazingly large bullshite repository where pampered Western Yahoos kill time till the coronary hits.
Otherwise they would be stuck with themselves & nobody wants that kind of horror.
From what I've seen of Yahoo's "search trends," the average Internet user is a shallow dysfunctional cretin with a bad case of celebrity cult-ure addiction.
The only upside I can see to using "search trends" is that they show that death really isn't tragic since a huge mass of people spend most of their lives hovering near some kind of weird pseudo death anyway.

But wait, Yahoo isn't as non dimensional as I thought, they also use Twitter:

The biggest spike we saw in tweets on Super Tuesday was around Santorum's speech, which were also largely negative. (Let's face it: People turn to Twitter to complain about and insult candidates more than they do to lavish praise on them.

No, let's really face it. People use Twitter for two reasons: 1. Because thoughts longer than 140 characters confuse the average user. 2. They're addicted to their electronic media. Without their electronic nipple & its illusion of connection, folk would slip back into their normal mind set. One filled with self doubt, insecurity & an epic abyss-like loneliness. In a lot of ways electronic media addiction resembles cigarette addiction. You can suck & suck on that nipple but you just never get very high.

So, in the spirit of using "search trends" & "tweets" as a mass mind gauge, I would like to throw the massive weight of DickCentral™ behind Rick Santorum in 2012.

Let's look at Tricky Ricky:

Rick Santorum: The Man, The Legend, The Anal Discharge.

Admit it. A nation of assholes couldn't ask for a better leader than President Anal Discharge.

The poetry of it all is humbling & quite awe inspiring.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Rick Satanorm said to me that I have to eat thunder and shit lightening. Felt a sense of belonging, power. si el diablo! si el diablo! But mother-loving and apple pie Mitt is going to hit one out of the ballpark. I'm going to vote for the less-than-favorite penis sucker, Vermin Supreme. It would be funny if he were soon to be stoned by the dems and republicans and left dead on the pavement. This way I could write in a freshly dead presidential candidate's name on the ballot, not the name of an occultist who died 65 years ago.