The American dollar is in bad need of a makeover. Thanks to the Dollar ReDe$ign Project, we may now have some options.
Organized by creative strategy consultant Richard Smith, the Dollar ReDe$ign Project is soliciting ideas for the dollar bill of the future. "Our great 'rival', the Euro, looks so spanky in comparison it seems the only clear way to revive this global recession is to rebrand and redesign," the project notes on its website.
Rebrand & redesign, eh? At first, this left me a bit slack jawed. I was quite astounded that someone would have the audacity to apply puddle deep corporate marketing strategy to economic problems as large as those America faces.
But then I realized that gift wrapping turds is one thing America does well so why shouldn't we apply that talent to money also.
This vertical bill is the leading design.
Why vertical you ask?
"When we researched how notes are used we realized people tend to handle and deal with money vertically rather than horizontally," they note on the Dollar ReDe$ign Project's website. "You tend to hold a wallet or purse vertically when searching for notes. The majority of people hand over notes vertically when making purchases. All machines accept notes vertically. Therefore a vertical note makes more sense."
I see the logic here. We have a mass of people slipping quickly towards complete mental retardation, so they obviously need easy tasks downgraded to "so easy an imbecile could do it" levels. File this with GPS systems & cars that park themselves.
This one is a bit puzzling:
Is the subtle message here, "Yes my red skinned corpses, we built our entire economic sandcastle on your blood & bones. Y'all died so we could steal your land & build a big Pyramid Scheme on it."
This one does capture the Disneyland make believe nature of America:
For me, its appeal comes down to the sub-texts.
In other words, Hollywood makes illusions & our dollar is an illusion. As a nation we worry more about Hollywood & its denizens then we do about anything even remotely resembling reality. Not to mention the simple fact that so many of our children have been raised by Hollywood, taught to think by Hollywood and, with the advent of reality TV, grown into adulthood with the overwhelming desire to debase themselves in any way that gets them, even temporarily, into Hollywood-Land.
I don't know, even with the sub-texts, this all seems a bit much.
We already have a quite popular fake money design. It has, over the years, stood the test of time much better than our worthless greenback.
Here it is:
The Monopoly money works on so may levels, doesn't it? Most notably, the history behind the Monopoly Game is a perfect metaphor for an America that has allowed its conscience to be murdered by greed.
Monopoly was first known as the Landlord's Game. It was developed by Georgist activist Lizzie Maggie who wanted to demonstrate the "evils of landlordism."
Eventually the game was swiped by Charles B. Darrow, and sold to Parker Brothers.
In other words, a game designed to undermine the monetary system ended up glorifying it.
Oh well, time to surf my way towards more pointless Interbutt twaddle. Then again, the "off" button is seductively winking at me while she grinds her posterior into my crotch.
"Off" button it is.
C'mere ya saucy little tart...