Obama's debt cutting plan: Everything on the table
After gingerly avoiding any discussion until now of cuts in the government's massive benefit programs for the elderly and poor, Obama will acknowledge a need to reduce spending on Medicare and Medicaid while at the same time tackling defense spending and calling for increased taxes on the wealthy, White House officials said.
Obama is expected to concede a need for overhauling Medicare and Medicaid and to even make adjustments to Social Security, always considered politically risky territory. But he will distinguish his plan from the Republican budget, which would shrink Medicare by shifting the program to private insurers and send block grants to states to pay for Medicaid, the health care program for the poor.
I'm going to polish off my crystal ball & try my hand at a bit of prophecy.
Let me concentrate a minute...
Okay, an image is coming through...
I see Medicare & Medicaid & SSI cuts sliding out of our patriotic bunghole like shit through an Astroglide lubed asshole while defense cuts & increased taxes on the wealthy will form a chalky white, tar-like impaction in the national colon, stubbornly resisting all of Obuma's faux liberal enema therapies & laxative overdoses.
Grannies & grandpas will descend, en masse, on their local grocery's dog food aisle, while hundreds of millions of dollars of spiffy new weaponry will descend on the neighborhoods of anyone unlucky enough to be born anywhere but America.
Geraldo will smile.
Paul Bremer will fondle his own nipples & giggle.
The constipated grimace will finally fade from John Stossel's face.
While John Hagee will enthusiastically masturbate until his piggly wiggly willy bleeds clarified butter.
All will be right in America.
After a time, all seniors will be marginalized as "unnecessary eaters" & burdens. Their cloying neediness will be seen as a huge stumbling block on the road to progress & innovation.
At this point, reality shows will exclusively showcase malnourished and desperate seniors who will be willing to do anything for 3 Bob Evans sausage links and an English muffin.
The crowd will go wild.
Upscale Wall Street executives will hire starving seniors for pennies, employing them to play "Dodge The Mercedes" all along the executive's route to work.
Ultimately this will provide the biggest source for senior employment since seniors are notoriously slow while Mercedes are quite fast & lethal.
To assuage any feelings of guilt that may surface amongst the pre-senior population, special Granddad & Granny apps will be developed by Apple for their IPhone 46 model.
Once all the seniors have been eliminated, elite attention will then focus on the scads of malnourished children who will prove to have a much longer shelf life with a modicum of maintenance.The more attractive children will find themselves the target of a hit & run of an entirely different nature. They will soon envy their Mercedes mutilated brethren.
The haves will finally have it all.
As they should.
The have nots will finally eat their own shit.
As they should.
While behind the scenes, the Wizard of Gahenna will pull off His thorny halo & replace it with a crown of dollar signs. A young Dorothy surrogate will be hauled in & forced to fellate Toto while the Cowardly Lion is forced, at gunpoint, to sodomize her. He will weep through the entire act.
As will Dorothy.
As will we all.