Monday, July 23, 2012

It's A Bad Day At Blood Butte

I've just been informed that my Rigorous Intuition account has been suspended.

I've contemplated approaching Jim...the site's originator, on bended knee. Submissively offering up my figurative ass crack for a good Inter-spanking.

I especially would like to please 82_28 by acquiescing and fucking his mother.

While I've heard his mom is a behemoth of no small reputation, with a pussy as dried out & flaccid as Rush Limbaugh's asshole, and possessing a stench that would kill kittens at 50 yards, I view it all as my little hair shirt of martyrdom. Something I must wear proudly as I attempt to crawl my way back into the good graces of the RI "Banality & Blather Mutual Circle Jerk Society Of Hermetically Sealed Lonely Folk."

I don't know how I'll raise my kids without seems like a dweam's "How to raise a non fascist  kid"
wisdom. The subtle way dweam & his/her post compadres tried to make mind control of children appear like a non-fascist necessity was moving to say the least.

I don't know how I'll be dazzling without Bruce Dazzling. Truthfully, when he expressed his desire for a "show your support for the Occupy Wall Street website" I almost cried. Never before has typing obsessively on the Internet been given its due.

There are so many things I've gained from  reading the good folks at RI.

The tender way they try to appear tender as they wallow in all the blood soaked minutiae of the world, hiding their addiction to violence behind a fuzzy blanket of non violence, hiding their inability to maintain real world human contact behind a a false mask of Internet intimacy is more touching, empowering & freeing than I can put into words.

Maybe, at some point in the future they'll see fit to let me shit there again. While the facilities were generally quite clean, on occasion Hugh Manatee would waste all the toilet paper with his scribbles, as he made futile attempts at trying to decipher all the hidden CIA messages he'd seen on every magazine rack he'd passed on the way to the Interpotty I've lovingly begun to refer as "A Liberal's Mouth."

I've even informed my friends not to let my bad experience deter them. Anytime they find themselves cruising along on the information superhighway and suddenly find that that bad burrito they picked up over at Taco Bell's website is starting to rumble in their belly in very disturbing ways, there isn't a better place on said superhighway to spurt a big stream of brown than "A Liberal's Mouth."

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Jim, blog host & forum guru, for allowing me to shit in his living room & wipe my ass on his upholstery for something like 7 years.

Thanks Jim.

You're the best.


Morocco Bama said...

I have a brother named Jim.

just_another_dick said...

Different Jim...

I sent RI Jim a copy so he could make my suspension permanent.

It was the only forum I've ever joined & the temptation to waste time poking them with a stick was sometimes just too great to resist.

I'm insulted that it took him this long to shun me.

I suppose that I could have earned a shunning sooner if I would have worked a little harder.

Although, I fail to see how I couldn't just set up a different e-mail account under a different name & then rejoin.

Not that I'd waste the time.

Still, the whole shunning thing seems a bit inefficient.

Morocco Bama said...

It's serendipitously satirical.

I wonder who Jim is? Such an All-American name.