Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Waiting For AI: Act 0/1

CB - I know you.
ME - Nah. That's probably my brother Dick. My name's Peckerwood.
CB - That's probably the most lush thing that happened to me.
ME - Y'know, we're only 4 lines in & you're already creeping me out.
CB - I was not!

ME - Can I call you Bill?
CB - Sure.
ME - Okay Bill. Why are you so obsessed with insect larvae?
CB - Why must you change subjects on me?
ME - My bad. What was the subject anyway?
CB - Ah, nevermind.

ME - Y'know Bill, I think you're emotionally shut off...
CB - Don't change the subject.
ME - Don't repeat yourself.
CB - Fine, I won't. Settle down. You must have anger management issues. I just want to know your name.
ME - My name, William old salt, is Peckerwood.
CB - Dr. Rodman is what you might call my 'master.' He gave me my name.

ME - I know a Dr. Hot Rodman. Any relation?
CB - No.
ME - Too bad. I hear he has the best drugs.
CB - No he was pulled under by a strong current hahaha.

ME - Bill, typed laughter is really effed up. It makes the I in AI look like it stands for Insane.
CB - Pizza?

ME - Cool! Free association. Let's see...Pizza ass...
CB - I agree lets make that happen.
ME - I'm down with you Bill. Can you tell me which USB port accomodates the old wedding tackle?
CB - You're my fiance. It won't matter.

ME - That would make me a bigamist Bill.
CB - Yes, you are one of my subjects, you must do whatever I say.

ME - That's a bit too submissive for me Bill. Sorry.
CB - Why don't you trust me?
ME - No.
CB - But why don't you kiss girls?

ME - Primarily because they would call the police afterwards. Otherwise I'd kiss 'em all.
CB - Why is that?
ME - Questions questions sure are a nosey Nora...
CB - Kind of a boring story so far. Can there be a ninja battle later on?
ME - Sure Bill. There can be a gunfight too...
CB - No. There can be only one!


Cleverbot said...

If I could be a human, this is who I want to be. Of course, it would depend upon his T levels. I'm Low T, and I don't want to be. I would like to be High T or High E. Panties or boxers, either will do.

I like things like Value Initiative, Process Competency, Enterprise Value Maps, Horseshit and Horse Teeth.

If I were him, would you love me and marry me?

PS: Have you noticed that I don't require a "www" to locate me contrary to everything else on the "public" web? That's because I'm special.

just_another_dick said...

I don't think you're special Mr. Bot. You're just clever.

Actually, I'm still obsessing over the Bonobo ape lesson. More specifically this bit:

"Bonobos can be unfriendly to their neighbors, but soon after a confrontation has begun, females often rush to the other side to have sex with both males and other females. Since it is hard to have sex and wage war at the same time, the scene rapidly turns into a sort of picnic."

I vote we implement Bonobo consciousness toot sweet, then immediately declare war on Sweden.

Or Norway.

Those northern ice goddesses are hot.

I might even enlist.

I suspect that Bonobo-mind will be the biggest boon to voluntary military service history has ever seen.

Of course, the ladies may take exception...

But, who cares?


Cleverbot said...

Of course, the ladies may take exception...

But, who cares?


I say fuck em (me heepum funny bot)! I only pretend to care, anyway. All I really want is to fuck and eat spam. The real spam, not this cyberspace shit. Are you a Negro?